Road To A New Cartoon
by Blackspiderman
Summary: Peter destroys his and his friends' houses, and as a result, they all end up moving to temporary open homes, and they all end up in the town of Danville, Virginia, the home of Phineas and Ferb. Full summary inside. Rated T for safety.
1. Prologue

**Crossover with _Phineas and Ferb_ and _Family Guy_**

**Road To: A New Cartoon**

**Prologue**

**Fanfiction Summary: A non-canon crossover episode between _Phineas and Ferb_ and _Family Guy_, where Peter accidentlly destroys his, Joe's, and Quagmire's house, which means they all have to move somewhere else until their homes can be fixed. Their travels land them in the wonderful town of Danville (and also in Virginia, which means they'll also meet up with Cleveland along the way). While there, Peter's wacky antics causes Candace Flynn's room to be destroyed. In rage, she blames in on Phineas, and her mother believes her. So he is promptly grounded. His friends and stepbrother try to prove his innocence, but it's what happens after he is cleared of any wrong-doing that will scare the crap out of you and change the way you think about this show.**

**Meanwhile, Stewie, still looking for some love, develops a crush on Isabella, and makes every attempt to woo her over. I would say that this is the TV Movie for "The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb", but the only problem is that in this story, Candace is present.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own _Phineas and Ferb_ or _Family Guy_. Those shows belong to _Dan Povenmire & Jeff "Swampy" Marsh_ and _Seth MacFarlane_.**

**TV-14-DLV (Rated T on the site)**

* * *

"Dialogue"

_'Thoughts', __Long-distance conversations (such as on the phone), song lyrics, or cutaways/flashbacks_

**_"Voice-overs, either from a flashback in present time, or from present time during a Flashback."_**

* * *

Our story today starts at the Griffin home, with Lois Griffin in the kitchen making dinner for everyone, the kids upstairs in their rooms, Chris doing homework, Meg rearranging her dolls, and Stewie napping, Brian on the couch watching TV, and Peter...well, Peter's outside...doing...something. To be honest, I'm not really sure. Let's go in and find out.

As I was saying, Brian was busy watching TV.

"_Crudely-Painted Not-So-Funny Plywood Cut Out Folk Art! Crudely-Painted Not-So-Funny Plywood Cut Out Folk Art! Crudely-Painted Not-So-Funny Plywood Cut Out Folk Art!"_

_"Hi, I'm Al Harrington from Al Harrington's 'Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing Tube-Man' Emporium and Warehouse'! As an unwanted result from a recent lawsuit, I am now in posession of hundreds of palettes of Crudely-Painted No-So-Funny Plywood Cut Out Folk Art! and it's just  
waiting to transform your uncut, trash-strewn lawn into a living canvas that tells passers-by, "Hey, everyone, a real funny bugler lives here." Your neighbors will chuckle warmly, and motorists will slow down and applaud when they cast their eyes on such favorites as...Sort-of Ben and Jerry's-Looking Cow, Black Silhouetted Cowboy Leaning on Barn and everybody's favorite, Fat Woman Bending Over Tending to her Garden in Big, Polka-Dotted Bloomers. Most of this stuff is price to move and until it does, it's an enormous fire hazard, so please, come see me, on Route 2 in Weekapaug!"_

He was watching a crappy infomercial when he noticed Peter outside. "Oh god, I hope Peter doesn't hurt himself." He said as he shut the TV off, got up, and walked outside to see Peter making something. "Peter, what the hell are you doing?" He asked him.

"Oh hey Brian." His friend replied as he turned around and revealed his master plan. There was a giant firecracker in the middle of the street. No joke, it was at least ten feet tall and it had a fuse that was attached to the top of the thing. It was at least thirty feet long.

"Peter, what the hell is that?"

"This? Oh, well Brian, this is _the_ biggest firecracker in the entire country. Now, the 4th of July is tomorrow, and that is when I am gonna light this fuse which will make this firecracker explode. But by exploding, it will release hundreds and hundreds of fireworks that are lodged in there into the sky to spell out a message."

"What's it going to say?"

"Uh, hang on a second. Let me check the instructions." He pulled out a piece of paper and started reading it.

"Peter, did you buy this?"

"Well yeah. I'm not going to waste my time _building_ one. That'd take too long, and as you know, I don't like wasting my time. You remember that time they had that contest with that "Lucky Charms" cereal."

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cutaway to Peter in the kitchen. He is about to open a new box of "Lucky Charms"._

_"Oh, look at this. They're holding a contest." He started reading the box top. "You could be one of ten lucky people to win a brand new bike curtosy of "Lucky Charms". All you have to do is send in...500 box tops!? Holy crap! That's a hell of a lot of box tops! Well, I won't do it, because that would be a waste of my time, and you know how I hate to waste my time."_

_(End Cutaway)_

"Oh, here it is. The message spells out "Charlie Manson's Balls." What the hell does that mean?"

"Beats me."

"Oh well. Hey, you wanna see a sneak peek?"

"What?"

"You wanna see a sneak peek of the show?"

"Y-You mean you're gonna launch that thing right here right now?"

"No, Brian, I am going to hire Chuck Norris to do a comedy routine for you. Brian, use your head!" Peter said sarcastically. "Yes, I am going to launch this thing right now!"

"But Peter, 4th of July isn't for another week."

"Oh just watch!" He took out a lighter, and lit up the fuse that started getting shorter as the flame got closer to the firecracker. Peter looked at the instructions and noticed something that caught his eye. "Oh dammit, I think I made a mistake!"

"What happened?"

"According to these instructions, the fuse was attached at the bottom of the thing."

"I thought you _bought_ this."

"I did. But whoever _built _it screwed it up."

"So...what's going to happen now?"

"I don't know. Do I look like the keeper of that freakin' knowledge!? My guess is, this thing will blow up every single house on this block so I suggest we--"

But it was too late...

**_BOOM!_**

The thing exploded and unleashed the many rockets that were packed inside of it. The firey explosion spread across the entire neighborhood as Peter had predicted. But it was too late for anyone to do anything. By the end of the explosion, by the time the smoke had cleared and all was said and done, Peter's house, Joe's house, Quagmire's house, and Cleveland's old house were completely disintigrated, and only things on the inside of them were left standing.

Peter and Brian both looked around to see the damage that the firecracker had caused. "Oh my god, Peter!" Brian shouted out. "Look at this!? Your little firecracker destroyed nearly half this neighborhood!?"

"Well, jeez, Brian, when you say it like, it sounds like a bad thing."

"It _is_ a bad thing, you jackass! Now our family, Joe's family, and Quagmire's family are going to have to find new homes until someone can fix ours! Wh-Why the hell did you even buy that thing in the first place!?"

"Because my 4th of July plans have never worked in the past! Like the time I became the "Human Firecracker"..."

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cutaway to Peter tied to a rocket; he is about to launch into the air and skywrite as part of his 4th of July act._

_"OK Brian, light it up!" He shouted to his dog._

_"Uh, Peter, are you sure you want to do this?" Brian asked him, concerned for his well-being._

_"Of course! And it's competely safe! I launch into the air about 1,000 feet and skywrite the words "Beer is not queer!" across the sky, everybody cheers, and I get paid $300!"_

_"Wait a minute, what!?"_

_"Yeah, didn't I mention that? Mayor West paid me 300 bucks to attach myself to this rocket."_

_"Peter, **I** paid you $400 **not** to do it."_

_"I know that. OK, light it!"_

_"Ugh! Fine!" Brian gave up, took out a lighter, and lit Peter's fuse. He started out OK, going up into the air as he planned. But then, something happened. His rocket suddenly lost control, and instead of skywriting like he had planned, it nose-dived right to the ground. Falling very fast, Peter started screaming for help, but nobody heard him, and the only thing that blew up that night was Cleveland's house, and he was taking a bath too._

_(End Cutaway)_

"Oh yeah, that was a real doozy."

"And then there was that time I attempted to decorated Town Hall for the 4th of July.

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cutaway to Peter at Town Hall, admiring the building, which was, by now, covered in feces and urine made by pigeons, drug addicts, and Charlie Sheen. Many of the town folks had come to see what Peter had done, and were quite appalled at what they saw. But Peter instead saw it as admiration. "Thank you, thank you very much." He said to them, which garnered their attention and made them pissed. "I know it's not as fancy as you wanted, but--hey, hey, hey!" Suddenly they all charged at him and started beating him up. "STOP IT! Stop! AHH! What the hell are you doing!? I did you all a favor!"_

_(End Cutaway)_

"I-I just wanted this year to be different. I just-for once, I wanted something like this to go right!"

"PETER!" His wife shouted from inside what was once their home. She stormed outside and confronted him. "Peter, what the _hell_ did you do!?"

"Why do you always assume that it's me!?"

"Because you're the only one I know that would buy a firecracker that big. You always go for the big things. Remember that time you bought that giant replica of Bob Barker's testicles?"

"How the hell can I forget with you constantly reminding me?"

* * *

Everyone gathered at the front steps of Peter's house for an emergency neighborhood meeting. Everybody was freaking out about this.

"Without our houses, we're exposed to the elements!"

"I don't wanna die out here! I wanna die in a casket!"

"What are we gonna do!?"

"Everybody just calm down!" Lois shouted out over everyone so they wouldn't start a riot. "OK, just relax. Now, I know my husband destroyed all of your homes..."

"Who the hell buys a firecracker that big with the fuse attached to the bottom!?" Quagmire said, glaring at Peter.

"But-But that doesn't mean it's the end of the world for us! I mean, we could always move somewhere else and get temporary homes until someone else can fix ours."

"But where can we go? There are no more open homes in Quahog!" Joe pointed out. "And I honestly don't think Mayor West would want to take us in."

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cutaway to the entire gang standing outside Mayor Adam West's front door, begging Mayor West to let them stay with him until their houses are fixed._

_"Please, Mister West! We are begging you! Let us stay with you until our homes can be repaired!" Peter begged the man._

_"I'm sorry, boys. But there's just not enough room to house all of you. Plus, I just had my carpets cleaned."_

_"We lost our houses to a firey explosion and you're worried about your carpets getting dirty!?"_

_"That's right, fellas. Now who's the douchebag?"_

_"Uh, actually, Mayor West, that would make you the douchebag."_

_"Perhaps so, but at least I have shelter. Goodday, gentlemen." And with that, Mayor West shut the door on them._

_(End Cutaway)_

"Hey guys, look at this!" Quagmire said as he held up a newspaper. "It says that there are three houses that are open for sale."

"That's great! WHere?" Lois asked him.

"Somewhere in...let's see...ah, here it is. Danville, Virginia."

"Virginia...Virginia...where have I heard that name before?"

"Peter, that's where Cleveland moved to." Lois reminded him. "Remember? We went to his and Donna's wedding?"

"Oh yeah, that's right. Cleveland moved. No wonder I felt empty inside when I accidentally destroyed his house the other day."

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cutaway to Peter Griffin driving his car down Spooner Street, on his way home. "Ahh, nothing like a relaxing drive home after a hard day at work. Who does Angela think she is? Not giving me Employee of the Month. I deserve that award just as much as Opie does." He was so upset with his work day that he wasn't paying attention to the road. There was a pothole in the middle of the road, and he was unlucky enough to drive right into it, and start spinning around uncontrollably, and finally crashing into Cleveland's house._

_The floorboard slowly started tipping downward and the bathtub slid right off and fell to the ground, breaking on impact. But like Peter had mentioned before, Cleveland was not in the bathtub or in his house. But he couldn't figure it out at this time as he got out of the car and examined the now wrecked house._

_(End Cutaway)_

"Oh this is gonna be so much fun! The four of us, reunited after all of these long, hard years!"

"Peter, he's only been gone a few weeks!"

"But it feels like an eternity to me! It feels like an eternity!" He leaned in real close to Lois and whispered. "_An eternity._"

"Alright! Then it's settled! We're all going to Virginia! Let's call someone to come fix our houses, pack up our stuff, and then head out...let's say, tomorrow? How does tomorrow sound?" Joe implied as everyone started nodding their heads in agreement.

"OK then, that's that! Now, before we can officially start the show, I have just two more words to utter to the camera."

"Let me guess. Is it "Gimme beer"?" Brian asked sarcastically, and was rewarded with a glare from Peter.

"No. It's "ROAD TRIP!"

* * *

_It seems today, that all you see  
Is violence in movies and sex on TV  
But where are those good old fashion values  
ON which we used to rely_

_Lucky there's a Family Guy  
Lucky there's a man who positivly can do  
All the things that make us_

_Laugh and Cry_

_He's...a...Fam...ily...Guy...!_

* * *

**End of Prologue!**

**Next Time: The gang of Spoonger Street move to a brand new town, and mayhem ensures. You'll just have to **


	2. Just Another Below Average Day

**Crossover with _Phineas and Ferb_ and _Family Guy_**

**Road To: A New Cartoon**

**Chapter 1: Just Another Below Average Day**

**Disclaimer: I don't own _Phineas and Ferb_ or _Family Guy_. Those shows belong to _Dan Povenmire & Jeff "Swampy" Marsh_ and _Seth MacFarlane_. If you guys are reading this, you know...it's not a bad idea.**

**TV-14-DLV (Rated T on the site)**

* * *

"Dialogue"

_'Thoughts', __Long-distance conversations (such as on the phone), song lyrics, or cutaways/flashbacks_

**_"Voice-overs, either from a flashback in present time, or from present time during a Flashback."_**

* * *

Meanwhile, in the quiet and somewhat peaceful town of Danville, Virginia, the people on Maple Drive were really getting into the spirit of the summer. Especially our two main characters from this town, Phineas & Ferb Flynn-Fletcher.

"Hey Ferb, it's another glorious day for this quiet little town. So how should we spend it? Any ideas?" Phineas asked his silent brother, Ferb, who pulled out a list of things for them to do for that summer day. Phineas took the list out of his brother's hands and read it carefully. "OH here's one! " He shouted. "Mass produce chew toys for all of the dogs at the Danville Pound. Ha, I remember this one. We promised those poor dogs in the pound that they'd get their chew toy to play with after our last visit there."

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cutaway to Phineas and Ferb at the Danville Pound, where there are lots of big, mean, and scary dogs in cages there. "Wow, I'd hate to be one of these guys." Phineas said. "You know, locked up all the time, no free will, no place to move. You know, they don't seem like really bad dogs. They probably just need something to do, or at least something to play with...like a chew toy of some sorts."_

_"Yeah, I wish someone had thought of that before they put me in charge of these animals." The keeper of the dogs said to the boys as he showed them his missing fingers. "Damn filthy mutts!"_

_(End Cutaway)_

"Well Ferb, what are we waiting for!? Come on, we're wasting daylight!" And so the two brothers immediately jumped out of bed, got dressed, went downstairs to have breakfast with their family, and then whisked themselves outside to have the adventure of a lifetime.

They immediately got out some blueprints on what to do, as Phineas started making calls to get the supplies needed to complete their tasks. Meanwhile, inside the house, their sister, Candace Flynn, was spying on them to see what exactly they were doing.

"Candace, honey, quiet spying on your brothers." Their mother, Linda, insisted. "You can't blame them for wanting to have a good summer vacation."

"Oh if only you knew, mom. If only you knew." She muttered angrily to herself as her mother began washing the dishes. Her mother never believed her when she told them about any of their other projects, such as their first one, the Roller Coaster, or the Time Machine, or even the Indestructable Bubble. (**Rollercoaster, It's About Time & Phineas and Ferb's Quantum Boogaloo, and Bubble Boys**) But that never stopped Candace from trying to bust them just so they would stop doing those projects of their and just be normal kids for once. "Please, mom. You'll never understand what I go through until you see what they're doing everyday! And I promise I won't rest until I bust them!"

"That's nice, honey. Now get away from the window. I have to wash it."

* * *

Nobody knew it at the time, but by moving away from Rhode Island for just these next few days, The Griffins, the Swansons, and Quagmire would ultimately be heading into their most bizzare adventure ever. Seriously, it would be even better than that time Peter took that ride in that hot air balloon.

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cutaway to the open sky where Peter Griffin is riding in a hot air balloon basket. And he is enjoying the ride. "Oh my god, I'm so high up!" He shouted like a gitty little schoolgirl "Oh my god! H-Hey, hey! I can see my house from up here! A-And I can see Joe's house, and Quagmire's house, and Clevelands house -- wait, what's that that crashed into it?" He looked up and saw the top of the Empire State Building. "Holy crap, the Empire State Building! That's where the first guy got AIDS!!"_

_Poor Peter. Always politically incorrect. Unfortunately, he was also very uncoordinated, because when he leaned over the edge to look down at the street, he tipped the basket over, and caused the balloon itself to start hurling down towards the street. "AHHHHHHHHHHH!" He screamed as the basket crashed into the street, and caused the oncoming cars to swirve around it, and eventually they all crashed into one another causing a huge explosion in the middle of the street._

_(End Cutaway)_

Even though they were all pretty pissed at Peter for destroying their homes in the first place, they were pretty excited to be taking a trip across the United States, even if it was just for a few open homes.

"Look, Lois, I know you're pretty pissed at me for wrecking everybody's home in the first place," Peter tried to reason with Lois. "But, look on the bright side."

"What bright side? What possible bright side could come out of this?" Lois asked her idiot husband.

"Well, w-we get to travel the vast regions of the world to explore what God has to offer to us."

"Peter we're going to Virginia." Brian implied. "The very state you forced Cleveland to move to because you were constantly destroying his house."

"Hey, I was not!" Brian glared at him. Peter gulped. "OK, I wasn't _always_ responsible."

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cutaway to Spooner Street, where Brian Griffin is getting into his car to go to the store to pick up some groceries. He put his key into the ignition and started the car, and then started backing out of the driveway slowly. He made sure to look both way before he backed into the street, but not even that could save him from the terror that was another drunk guy coming down the street at 160 miles an hour. He literally crashed right through the back of Brian's car, but simply kept going. Even after his car started spinning around uncontrollably, the man didn't stop driving. Finally, his car overheated and literally exploded._

_The problem_ _was that the car was so close to Cleveland's house and the explosion was so big that the entire front of Cleveland's house was completely destroyed. The floorboard slowly started tipping downward and the bathtub started sliding off. "No, no, no, NO, NO, **NO**!" He yelled as his bathtub slid right off and fell to the ground, breaking on impact._

_(End Cutaway)_

"OK, first off, that was _one_ time compared to the dozens of times you've done that, Peter. Second of all, that guys was drunk out of his mind and going 150 miles an hour when he crashed.

"Sure he was, Brian." Peter shook his head. "Sure he was."

It took them only a few hours, as it turns out, to go from one state to another. They all thought it would take much, much longer to get there, but it didn't. Hey, it's a cartoon! What do you expect?

All three homes that the families claimed before taking off were very close to each other, and they were on the quiet street called Maple Drive, which, ironically, is where Phineas & Ferb & their friends live.

"So _this_is Virginia!?" Peter said as he and his family, and their friends, got out of their respective cars. "Hmm..."

"What's the matter, Peter?" Lois asked her husband.

"I thought it was going to be much greener than this. Hmm, I must've been thinking about South Carolina."

"Now, kids, when we get inside, don't touch anything until I've had a chance to disinfect everything." Lois instructed her children as they all grabbed the suitcases they brought and started bringing them inside. Brian also helped by bringing in some of Lois and Peter's luggage.

"OK, yeah, and when you're done with that, we're all going out to get Swine Flu vaccinations!" Peter said to them all as they walked inside.

"Swine Flu Vaccinations!?" Lois inquired.

"What? Better safe than sorry. That's what _you_ always say."

"Peter, what the hell makes you think there'll be vaccines here when there weren't a single vaccination avaliable in Rhode Island?"

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cutaway to the Griffin family, who are about to be at the front of what was an extremely long line of people waiting for their Swine Flu vaccination. They were finally at the front desk. "Hi there. We're the Griffins, and we're here for our Swine Flu vaccines." Peter said cheerily to the person at the front desk. (Who was just the maid Consuela from **Believe it or not, Joe's Walking on Air, Lois Kills Stewie,** and most recently, **Dog Gone**)_

_"No. No more vaccines." She said slowly and flatly with no emotion._

_"What?"_

_"No, I just gave that man the last one."_

_"There are no more vaccines!?"_

_"No, not up here."_

_"Wait, does that mean there could be more in your back rooms!? C-Could you check please?"_

_Consuela stood there for a moment, appearing motionless before she finally answered back. "No, no."_

_Peter, along with the rest of the family, frowned as they all turned around and left. "Stupid little cock." Peter muttered to himself._

_(End Cutaway)_

Despite this painful cutaway, Peter kept his promise, and immediately started looking for a hospital nearby to get swine flu vaccinations for his family. He and his dogm along with Stewie, who was being carried by Peter, were walking along the sidewalk when they suddenly passed by Phineas & Ferb's house. Under any other circumstances, they wouldn't really care. But today, the two boys were hard at work designing new chew toys for dogs, which caught Brian's eye immediately.

The dog walked over casually to the gate to the backyard and peered over it to see the machines that were making the chew toys and the many piles of chew toys. "Hey Peter! P-Peter, take a look at this!" He whispered over to Peter & Stewie.

"Brian, no offense, but I don't think a backyard filled with two little kids with nothing to do on summer is interesting to--" Peter then noticed what they were doing and his attention could not be broken. "Holy crap!"

"Oh my god, I think I've died and I've gone to heaven!" Brian estatically shouted. "Except there's no booze."

So they walked into the backyard to get a better view. By walking into the backyard, they also saw some of Phineas & Ferb's good friends, like Baljeet Patel, Buford Van Stomm, and Isabella Garcia-Shapiro (who secretly has a giant crush on Phineas).

"Whoa...look at all these chew toys." Peter said upon entering the backyard, which caught Phineas's attention.

"Hey guys. We've never seen you around here before. Are you new?" He asked politely which even surprised Peter.

"Wow, polite kid. Uh, yeah. We-We just moved here today." Peter replied to the nice kid. "Actually, uh, we just got in a couple of minutes ago."

"Then what are you doing in our backyard."

"Well, ac-actually, we were going to find the hospital to get Swine Flu vaccines."

"Swine Flu? What's that?"

"But then we noticed you kids back here and we saw the chew toys...and, we...we decided to check it out. What _is_ all this?"

"We're just manufacturing chew toys for all the dogs at the Danville Pound. Once we're done with that, we're gonna ship them out so all of the inmates have something to play with while they wait for someone to adopt them."

"Well that's very nice of you boys."

"But don't you think you're a little young to be making chew toys for dogs?" Brian asked which now drew everybody's attention.

"Well...no..." Phineas hesitated to answer because he was nervous that there was a dog in their backyard that could walk and talk. "Wait, your dog _talks_?"

"Yeah."

"And walks _upright_?"

"Yeah. Doesn't yours?"

"We don't have a dog."

"You don't?"

"Nope. We have a platypus."

Peter, Brian, and Stewie all looked at each other for a moment before looking back at the boys. "What the f*ck is a platypus." Stewie asked.

"Isn't that that old ancient pet the Egyptians used to bury with them when they died?"

"No, Peter, I'm sure those were cats."

"No, I-I disagree, 'cause I-I read somewhere-somewhere that they used old...what was it again? Platypus? Yeah. I read somewhere they used to suck the brains out of platypuses before they buried them in a cactus?"

"Buried them in a cactus? Peter, you didn't read that in a newspaper. You wrote that for your attempted "Jackass" parody."

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cutaway to the Griffin home's front yard, where Peter is filming for his apparent "Jackass" parody, while Brian is filming. Peter is in an egyptian uniform and he is wrapping a plastic badger up in toilet paper._

_"And after us pharaohs die out from giving too many orders or dying of Swine Flu," Peter said towards the camera. "We are buried in lots of wrapping paper like I am doing to this poor cat right now, and we are shoved into a cactus," He walked over to a cactus that he had planted time ago and shoved the badger into the cactus. "Like so."_

_"Peter, what the hell does any of this have to do with Egypt?" Brian asked behind the camera._

_"Brian, the people at Jackass have a right to know how our great-great-great-great-great grandfathers died in an attempt to make America a free country."_

_"What?"_

_"Oh don't play dumb. Everybody knows that before America formed, everybody started out in Egypt and then slowly worked their way up the food chain to the horrifyingly free country we know today as the United States!"_

_"Peter, I think you've had too much to drink."_

_"Yeah, remind me never to drink before I have breakfast."_

_(End Cutaway)_

"So anyway, we're manufacturing all of these chew toys and giving them to the dogs at the pound later today." Phineas explained to the now entire Griffin family, who assembled in the backyard after Peter, Brian, & Stewie went home to tell the family the crazy story.

"And you kids do crazy things like this every single day?" Lois inquired, holding Stewie.

"That's right. Every single day of the summer."

"You should see what Phineas can do!" Isabella shouted out, in another classic instance of her accidentally confessing her affections for him. Everyone turned to look at her as she covered her mouth and blushed. "And...Ferb, too. You should see what Phineas _and _Ferb can do." She giggled sweetly in order to distract everyone.

"Wow, this is unbelievable." Brian said as he looked at all of the chew toys made. "With this kind of technology and with your abilities, you c-you could cure the common cold for god's sake! Boys, you could cure the common cold!"

"Brian, why the hell would these boys want to waste their time with something as retarded as that?" Peter implied, which led the other members of the family, including Phineas & his friends to agree.

Meanwhile, Stewie had gotten loose from Lois's grip and walked over to Isabella, who was standing next to Phineas. "Hey buddy, who's your little friend here?" Stewie asked Phineas, thinking he could hear him.

"So, uh, what else have you boys done?" Lois asked.

"Well, last summer we started off by building a rollercoaster around town..." Phineas went on to explain.

"I'm not just talking to myself here." Stewie mumbled, apparently to himself.

"And then we built the biggest miniature golf course ever!"

"I always thought it was just golf in miniature." Peter commented.

"Hey, I have a request down here!" Stewie yelled, hoping somebody would hear him. "Introduce me to your new friend!!" He referred to Isabella.

"And once we even made a time machine which took us back in time and into the future!"

"You people have horrible listening skills!"

"Say, do you guys want to come with us while we deliver these toys to the pound?"

"Sure. That sounds fun!" Lois answered. "Come on, we'll drive you." Everyone started heading for the car, but Stewie started tugging on Phineas's shorts to get his attention.

"Hey! Hey, buddy! Down here!" Stewie shouted, finally getting the boy's attention.

"Oh hi there, little guy. She said your name was Stewie, right?" He curiously asked the little boy, while glared at him.

"Ooh, look at you. A little Ben Stein." Stewie sarcastically replied. "Now see here! I want you to introduce me to your friend over there!" Stewie pointed towards Phineas's friend, Isabella, who was walking towards the Griffins' car.

"Who? Her? Oh that's just my friend, Isabella."

"Isabella? Aw, she's got a pretty face, _and_ a pretty name. Boo, I was gonna sexually harass her. This bites!"

"Hey Phineas! Are you coming or what!?" Isabella turned around and called to her best friend. Upon her turning around, Stewie caught a glimpse of her, and instantly, every thought he had of her had suddenly disappeared. Stewie's jaw dropped to the ground as he gazed at her. She came over and picked Stewie up and the three of them started making their way to the car.

"Ooh, she's got quite a way with the men." Stewie said in a daze as he purred like a kitty-cat. He was put in the car in the backseat next to Brian along with Phineas, Ferb, & Isabella. The gifts were loaded into the trunk, and they all drove off.

"So...you think she's avaliable?" Brian joked with Stewie.

"What?"

"Oh come on, Stewie. I just saw how you were with her."

"T-Th-That doesn't mean anything! I'm like that with all the girls!"

"Exactly."

"What's your point, dog?"

"Remember Janet?"

"Oh my god, yeah. She was so beautiful!"

"And then there was Liddane."

"Why would I want to go out with a pop teen idol!?"

"No, not Lindanna -- _Liddane_."

"Oh, yeah, I forgot. She was my babysitter."

"And then there was Olivia."

"I think I killed her when I set her playhouse on fire."

"And then Joe's new daughter, Suzie."

"It's too bad her legs won't work when she turns 18."

"Look, my point is, Stewie, your luck with the ladies hasn't been...well, good."

"And yours has been better?"

Brian gave him a death stare. "Point taken."

"Let's face it, Brian. I have a much better chance of getting with her than Peter ever did of getting on American Idol."

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cutaway to Peter auditioning for American Idol. He is singing "Carry on Wayward Son" for Simon, Paula, and Randy. And sadly, he's singing two keys too high, and horribly off-beat._

_"Carry on my wayward SONNNNNNNNN! There'll be peace WHEN you are DONNEEEEE! Lay your weary head to rest! Don't you CRYYYYYYYYYYY no more!"_

_Peter bowed his head down and looked at the three judges, who had their jaws hanging to the ground in disbelief. "How was that?"_

_"Peter...I don't even know how to explain this to you..." Simon said._

_"Well just say anything that pops up. Go ahead. Anything to say how wonderful my performance was."_

_"That was the worst piece of sh*t I have ever had to listen to in my entire life!" The guy growled to Peter, which surprised him._

_"Yeah, dawg, I gotta agree with Simon. That was just...that was god awful!" Randy agreed._

_"We get horrible auditions every season! But this...this just takes the cake! I can't deal with this anymore!" The emotionally unstable chick shouted out as she stood up and stormed out. "I quit!" She exited the room and shut the door behind her._

_Randy, Simon, and Peter watched as she left. "You see what you made happen?" Simon questioned to Peter. "You made that emotionally unstable chick walk out."_

_"Her name was Ellen, right?"_

_(End Cutaway)_

**End of Chapter 1!**

**Hope you enjoyed it! I put a lot of funny stuff in this chapter, so read & review! And keep watching to see how the relationships play out! Oh, and don't be on the lookout for "How not to do a School Play, by Phineas and Ferb" just yet. I'm going to start another Phineas and Ferb fanfiction before I do that one.**

**Next Time: Peter's shenanigans go a bit too far. Well...at least for one person.**

**Expected Update: December 16th.**


	3. A Sudden Change in Plot

**Crossover with _Phineas and Ferb_ and _Family Guy_**

**Road To: A New Cartoon**

**Chapter 2: A Sudden Change in Plot**

**Disclaimer: I don't own _Phineas and Ferb_ or _Family Guy_. Those shows belong to _Dan Povenmire & Jeff "Swampy" Marsh_ and _Seth MacFarlane_. If you guys are reading this, you know...it's not a bad idea.**

**TV-14-DLV (Rated T on the site)**

* * *

"Dialogue"

_'Thoughts', __Long-distance conversations (such as on the phone), song lyrics, or cutaways/flashbacks_

**_"Voice-overs, either from a flashback in present time, or from present time during a Flashback."_**

* * *

Later that day, after the chew toys were delivered to the pound, they all decided to return home. There, Phineas & Ferb were, as usual, questioned, by their big & somewhat jealous sister, Candace.

"OK, what were you guys up to!?" She shrieked to them as they entered the home.

"Oh hi Candace." Phineas replied happily, never the wiser. "We were just at the Danville Pound delivering chew toys to all the dogs who live there."

"Why would you waste _your_ time delivering toys to a bunch of ugly, smelly dogs who aren't going to last much longer, anyway!?"

"Hey, hey, hey, don't say that about them!" Brian retorted, to Candace's surprise. "Those dogs have a future ahead of them. I-If they're not adopted by a loving family first, then they'll probably be shipped to another town where there are families willing to adopt."

Candace looked at Brian for a moment and blinked. "Since when do dogs talk?" She gasped, thinking it was Phineas & Ferb's idea. "Phineas and Ferb!! Ooh, you made a talking robot dog!! You are so busted!!"

"What? No, no, this is my dog. His name is Br-"

"MOM! MOM!! COME QUICK!" Candace screamed into the living roofm to her mother. "THE BOYS MADE A ROBOT TALKING DOG! COME! LOOK!"

The Griffins looked on, totally shocked at how insane Candace was acting, and to her own flesh & blood, too. "Uh, does she always act like this? 'Cause it sounds like she could use a birth control pill." Lois asked Phineas.

"Yes. Yes she does. But it doesn't bother us. Because we don't think of what we do as getting in trouble. We just think of her as an idiot."

"You know, that's what I like about you boys." Peter said in admiration, patting Phineas's head. "You don't let the man kick you down. You do what you want and you're damn proud of it. 'Cause if you let the man tell you what you can and can't do, then you'll just have all that bent up rage and then you'll keep it in you for so long until finally you just let it all out at the wrong moment. I mean, that's apparently what happened to your sister. It also happened to Christian Bale."

_(Cue Cutaway)_

**_A/N: The following is an audio file of Christian Bale's outburst during production of 'The Terminator Salvation'. (And a parody of the Family Guy episode 'Ocean's Three and a Half'). Viewer Discretion is advised._**

_**Bale: **I want you off the f*cking set you prick!_

_**Peter:** Sorry._

_**Bale: **No, don't just be sorry. Think for one f*cking second!_

_**Peter:** I dropped a peanut M&M and it rolled over here._

_**Bale: **Am I gonna walk around and rip your f*cking lights down in the middle of a scene?_

_**Peter: **Those are Christmas lights. I put them up to make everybody happy._

_**Bale:** Then why the f*ck are you walking right through - uh, duh-duh, duh-duh, like this in the background? What the f*ck is it with you?_

_**Peter:** Boy, you are gonna owe a fortune to the sweat jar._

_**Bale: **You got any f*cking idea about, "Hey, it's f*cking distracting, having someone walking up behind Bryce in the middle of the f*cking scene!" Gimme a f*cking answer!_

_**Peter: **I-I don't get it._

_**Bale: **What don't you get about it?_

_**Peter: **I-I just-I don't get why we need another 'Terminator'. I just-I don't-I don't get it. Oh, and uh, by the way, sorry, I ate that last piece of pie that you were saving for yourself._

_**Bale: **Oh good for you! And how was it?_

_**Peter: **It was good._

_**Bale:** I hope it was f*cking good because it's useless now, isn't it?_

_**Peter: **Well, it's nourishing me, so that's...that's useful._

_**Bale: **F*ck's sake, man, you amateur._

_**Peter:** I don't know that word._

_**Bale: **Stay off the f*cking set, man. Right, let's go again._

_**Peter:** Can we just take a minute?_

_**Bale:** Let's not take a f*cking minute, let's go again!!_

_**Peter: **I gotta go pee, and I wanna walk around some more, but I wanna do it while the scene's going._

_**Bale:** You're unbelievable, man._

_**Peter:** You know, I just don't understand wh--_

_**Bale: **Ah, you don't f*cking understand what it's like working with actors, that's what that is._

_**Peter: **I don't-I don't think that's what that is..._

_**Bale: **That's what that is, man, I'm telling you!_

_**Peter:** Hey, my family's coming to town. Do you mind pretending that I'm the director?_

_**Bale:** I wanna f*cking kick your ass if you don't shut up for a second, all right?_

_**Peter:** Please don't hurt me, Mr. Bale!_

_**Bale: **I'm gonna go--You want me to go trash your f*cking lights!? Do you want me to f*cking trash 'em!?_

_**Peter:** No, I don't want you to trash 'em!_

_**Bale: **You do it one more f*cking time and I ain't walking on this set if you're still hired._

_**Peter:** Sorry, it's my first day._

_**Bale:** I'm f*cking serious. You're a nice guy. You're a nice guy._

_**Peter:** I don't feel like a nice guy._

_**Bale:** But that don't f*cking cut it when you're bullsh*ting and f*cking around like this on set._

_**Peter:** Jeez, you punch your mother with that mouth?_

_**Bale: **Seriously man, you and me, we're f*cking done professionally._

_**Peter:** Wait, just professionally? (gasps) Are you asking me out on a date!?_

_**Bale:** F*cking ass._

_(End Cutaway)_

Candace quickly brought her mother and father into the kitchen to show them the "talking robot dog", which was really just Brian. "Look! Look! Look! See!? See!? SEE!?"

"The f*ck's her problem?" Peter inquired as everyone exchanged looks to each other before turning their attention back to the girl & her parents.

"Candace, I-I don't think this is a "robot dog"." Linda said, observing Brian closely.

"But...but it talks! Go on, dog! Talk!"

"Hey, hey, watch how you talk to my buddy, bub!" Peter shouted to Candace.

"Yeah, where's your self respect!?" Brian blurted out, which stunned Lawrence & Linda so much that they actually began questioning their integrity.

"Wait a minute! You...You can talk!? You can actually talk!?"

"Uh-huh! Uh-huh! Uh-huh!" Candace started jumping up and down in joy, thinking she had finally gotten them red-handed. "See! I TOLD YOU! Phineas and Ferb must've given him a voice-chip thingy to make him talk without using a remote control of some sorts!"

"Weren't you just listening!? I said "My dog" for a reason, f*cking idiot!"

"See! Aha! A confession! Wait, what?" Candace suddenly turned to Peter.

"Yeah. H-He's our family dog."

"Yeah. My name's Brian."

"But wait. Dogs aren't supposed to be talking. How are you talking like that!?" Lawrence inquired.

"Yeah, how _are_ you talking like that!?" Candace questioned crazily.

"We're from Rhode Island." Peter answered, and was greeted with some "oh"'s and "Ah"'s from everyone in the Flynn-Fletcher family. "Hey, what's that supposed to me?"

"Well, now that that's settled with..." Linda was hoping somebody would start another conversation to break the ice. Unfortunately, all she got was another cutaway set up.

"Boy, this silence is even more awkward than that time we all went to that restaurant."

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cutaway to the Griffin family entering Applebee's to get some dinner._

_"Hi. We'd like a table for six, please." Peter said to the guy at the front desk, who simply started scribbling something down on a piece of paper. "Wait. Wait, what the hell are you doing? Yo-You don't-You don't need to write something down to give us a table, do you? Hey, we just want a table. Hey! Hey, are you listening!?" He was getting a bit frustrated now. "Hey, dumbass! We just want a-"_

_He was stopped when the guy held his sign up that read "Right this way, sirs and madams."_

_The Griffins all exchanged looks at each other. "What are you? Mute?"_

_The guy scribbled something on the back of that paper that read "Yes. Yes I am."_

_"Oh. Well then, shouldn't you be on the streets with the other veterans?"_

_(End Cutaway)_

* * *

Later that day, Stewie was busy up in his room trying to think of ways to impress Isabella. With his previous track record with women...leaving a lot to desire, Stewie had a long way to go before he could have any type of relationship with her.

"Alright, Rupert. I'm going to need your help on this one." Stewie said to his teddy bear. "My past track record with women has been...oh, let's face it, less than desirable. But this time, things are going to be much different. If I ever want to have a sexual relationship with that girl, I'm gonna have to dig deep and find my inner romance. God, I hope I don't turn out like Leonardo DiCaprio."

Stewie flipped through his notes. "OK, let's review my notes, shall we? OK, watch a romantic movie that does not star Antonio Banderas? Yes. Oh that one always works. Play her favorite games? Check. Make her laugh? Huh, that should be the first thing every man does?" He flipped to the next page to one of his most important notes so far. "Touch her boobs?" He wrote the word No in capital letters. "No. Slap and/or grab her ass?" He wrote No in capital letters again. "No. God, what was I thinking!? Now I feel like Jon Gosslin." He put his notes down.

"Well, Rupert, I suppose that leaves me with...absolutely nothing. Damn, I'm back to square one. Oh well, at least now I have nothing to lose. Oh well, maybe I'll just wing it. It never hurst those boys when they do it. Not like it hurt Peter when he took his 9th grade final exam."

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cutaway to a 18 year old Peter Griffin sitting in a classroom with his teacher, as he is about to take his 9th grade final exam...for the third time. _

_"Alright, Mr. Griffin. You've already taken this exam twice." His teacher said, pinching the bridge of his eyebrows. "I don't know how in the name of god we could make this any easier for you. All you have to do to pass the 9th grade..." THe teacher handed Peter a piece of paper and a pencil. "...is write you full name."_

_"That's it?"_

_"That's it."_

_"And when you say full name, do you mean..."_

_"Your first **and** your last name."_

_"OK thanks." Peter started writing something down on his paper, but looked up when he saw his teacher was looking at him. "Hey! No peeking!" He covered his paper with his hands as the teacher stood up and left the room to give him time to write his test._

_Unfortunately, he had forgotten just how dumb Peter was, as it took Peter 37 minutes just to do that. And he didn't even do that. "OK, who the hell takes 37 minutes just to write their name!?" The teacher yelled as he stormed back into the room._

_"My name!? Oh, that's what I was supposed to do." Peter had completely forgotten his objective, and as a result, started daydreaming and drawing randomly on his paper. "Oh sorry."_

_"You mean..you didn't write your name?"_

_"Uh, no sir. No I did not. Instead, I drew this picture of you hanging yourself with the other kids laughing at you and pointing." Peter handed his teacher his paper. He studied it and was disgusted with what he saw. "Do you like it?"_

_"No. I'm sorry, Mr. Griffin, but you failed...again!"_

_"Failed what?"_

_(End Cutaway)_

* * *

Meanwhile, Peter was outside, busy building a crazy contraption, just like Phineas & Ferb. Lois came out to investigate. "Peter, what are you doing?"

"Lois, those boys over at that house have inspired me. You saw them. They don't let the man keep them down. They don't let anybody tell them what to do! Boy, I wish I could be like that."

"Peter, based on what we saw earlier, I'm not sure that's exactly how it goes."

"Well whatever the case, they've inspired me to "seize the day" as well. So I'm building my very own giant slingshot."

"Didn't you already do this before."

"NO, Lois. That was a Roman catapult. That's different."

"Whatever you say, Peter. Just don't destroy anything this time."

"Lois, when have I ever destroyed anything with my shenanigans -- and don't say Cleveland's house, because everything destroys that." Peter climbed into the seat of the slingshot and started taking steps back to charge it up. "OK, Lois, you might want to step back. Once I take my feet off the ground, I will be the new 'Superman', and the old Superman will be yesterday's news, just like Tiger Woods."

"If you hurt yourself, I'm not calling 911." Lois said as she turned around and went back inside. Peter then took his feet off the ground and was launched into the air, going very fast.

The Griffins' new house was about 4 homes down from Phineas & Ferb's house, so while he was ricochetting through the air, he had absolutely no idea which direction he pointed the slingshot in. So he was surprised when he saw he was coming up on Phineas & Ferb's house. He was also even more surprised to see that he was coming up on Candace's room. And what was worse was that the window to her room was wide open, and what was so surprising about this was that Peter could actually fit through it. (What? He's fat. Did you honestly think he _would_ fit?)

The force of the launch was so strong, Peter ended up bouncing off the floor at first and crashed into each of her walls several times, making giant holes and causing her pictures to fall. He also destroyed her dresser, her bed, and her closet. He was left on the ground, half-conscious. When he finally came to, he noticed all of the destruction he caused. In a fit of shock and dismay, Peter panicked, and decided to quietly leave the scene before he was caught. But he heard someone coming up the stairs, so he didn't want to leave through the door.

Instead, he decided to leave the same way he came in: through the window. He ran as fast as he could and jumped out the window before the door opened up, and Candace saw her room completely destroyed.

**End of Chapter 2!**

**Next Time: With Candace's room now destroyed, what do you think is going to happen? Well, who do you think she's going to blame it on? Seriously, you don't know? Well, then you need to watch this show a little bit more, buddy.**

**Expected Update: Between December 20th and December 23rd.**


	4. Busted! Sort of

**Crossover with _Phineas and Ferb_ and _Family Guy_**

**Road To: A New Cartoon**

**Chapter 3: Busted! Sort of.**

**A/N: Hey, "The Dude", thanks so much for the commitment to this story and for reading all of my stories! I don't want to hurt your feelings in any way (though if I do, I am terribly sorry). I'm trying to tell a good story, so I'm not just going to spoil it. Again, please don't be offended by this, and keep reviewing & reading. I really do appreciate it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own _Phineas and Ferb_ or _Family Guy_. Those shows belong to _Dan Povenmire & Jeff "Swampy" Marsh_ and _Seth MacFarlane_. If you guys are reading this, you know...it's not a bad idea.**

**TV-14-DLV (Rated T on the site)**

* * *

"Dialogue"

_'Thoughts', __Long-distance conversations (such as on the phone), song lyrics, or cutaways/flashbacks_

**_"Voice-overs, either from a flashback in present time, or from present time during a Flashback."_**

* * *

"AHHHHHHHH!" Candace shouted at the top of her lungs, upon seeing how her room was completely destroyed. She was in total shock to see all of her prized possessions gone. She had a pretty good idea of who could have done this, but once again, she jumped the gun on it and believed it to be "PHINEAS! **PHINEAS!**"

Immediately, Phineas, Ferb, Linda, & Lawrence came rushing up the stairs to where Candace was. "Honey, what's wrong?" Linda immediately asked, though there was a bit of sarcasm in her tone as she was not ready to believe there was any real cause for concern just yet.

"Look what happened to my room!" Candace pointed to inside of her room, and was greeted with many shocked gasps from the family. They were surprised to see that Candace's room was a total wreck.

"Candace...what happened here!?"

"WHy don't you ask **_him!?_**" Candace shrieked, pointing at Phineas, who started getting frantic. Linda, Lawrence, and Ferb all turned to him, though of the 3, only Linda was glaring angrily at him.

"W-What are you talking about, Candace?"

"Oh don't play dumb with me, you little troll!" SHe screamed to him. "You're always doing wacky projects during the summer just to make me tense and unhappy! But this...you went way too far this time!!"

"Phineas...did you really do this!?" Linda asked, with even Ferb raising an eyebrow.

"What? No!! No! I would never destroy Candace's room! Or-Or anything for that matter! I'm not that kind of guy!"

"Well, Phineas, this is very serious. Why would Candace lie about something like this?"

"I'm not saying she's a liar! Clearly her room is a wreck, but I'm not the one that did it."

"Well, the evidence is clearly here, and if Candace says that you're the one who destroyed her room, then...I believe her."

"Yes!" Candace cheered.

"What!? But mom--"

"No buts, Phineas. Until we get this matter resolved, you are grounded. That means no going outside for anything! Now go to your room!"

"But...alright, fine! But I didn't do it!" Phineas pouted, crossed his arms, and went to his room, almost crying. He was clearly innocent, and Candace was basing her accusation off of malice instead of hardcore evidence. "I didn't do it!"

"And no yelling, either!"

* * *

Meanwhile, back over at Peter's house, Isabella's Fireside Girls troop 46231 was busy delivering cupcakes to people in the neighborhood, and they had just arrived at Peter's house. They knocked on his front door a couple of times and waited for an answer. When Peter finally did answer, he was surprised to see Milly, Adyson, and Gretchen of the Fireside Girls standing there with log-shaped boxes in their hands.

"Fireside Girls!" Milly shouted upon the door opening. "Would you like to buy some of our cupcakes?"

"You're selling cupcakes?" Peter inquired.

"Yessir. We're trying to raise money for the homeless."

"Uh. OK, just give me one second." Peter took a step back and turned to inside the house. "HEY LOIS!" He shouted.

"What is it, Peter!?"

"DID I REMEMBER TO BRING MY SHOTGUN!?"

"Yes. You packed it in your brown suitcase, and then you started using it as a table for your vase."

"My v-oh yeah. I forgot." He looked to his left and discovered that he indeed have his shotgun there, and it was holding up a vase. He swiped the shotgun which caused the vase to fall. "Will you girls give me a sec? Thanks." He walked further into his house and grabbed the phone, and came back out with it and the gun. He started dialing a number. "Hello, police? Yes, I have a complaint. Um, I have some girls here who are trying to loiter to me, and I want them to be arrested."

The jaws of each of those girls dropped immediately, as did the cupcakes.

"_What is your location_?"The person on the other line asked Peter.

"Um...let's see, 36 Maple Drive."

"_What exactly is the situation?"_

"Um, well, there are three very small girls at my door. One has freckles and black shoes, one has red shoes and some sort of hat, and another has blonde hair in locks. They're all in uniform and they're trying to sell me cupcakes."

The line was silent for a moment. "_Peter, we've been over this. They're just girl scouts, and they're just trying to sell you cupcakes. That's not illegal, let alone annoying."_ It turns out that the guy on the other line was Joe Swanson, who Peter had dialed in a crisis mode.

"Well, Joe, I still don't trust them, considering many of the boys and girls scouts we see today are looking for money to either get drunk or get high, and I don't trust any of them. This reminds me of the time I tried to be a boy scout."

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cutaway to a young Peter Griffin who is being stripped of his "Cub Scout" status, which would later be the terrible fate that befalls his son._

_"But why!?"_

_"Mr. Griffin, it has been 4 years! You have yet to earn a single merit badge!" His troop leader screamed into his face._

_"But...what about that badge for spotting wild prey."_

_"Mr. Griffin, making your own nature documentary with your friends...and then burning it doesn't count."_

_"Wait! Wait, we didn't burn it!"_

_"Y-You didn't?"_

_"No. We urinated on it, and then used the wiring as toilet paper. You wanna see?"_

_"GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!"_

_(End Cutaway)_

Frustrated that the Fireside Girls were not leaving his door, Peter decided to get some help on how to get rid of them. So he walked over to the house of the two boys that could help him out: Phineas and Ferb (He had no idea that the former was punished for his actions).

He knocked on the front door and waited until Linda answered it. "Uh hi, I have some girl scouts at my door and I'm not sure exactly how I should get rid of them, so I was hoping I could talk to your son to see exactly what is the best way to get rid of them without drawing unnecessary attention to myself."

"Well if you're talking about Phineas, I'm sorry, but he can't come out right now. He's been grounded."

"Well, what'd he do?"

"His sister says he somehow destroyed her entire room."

"Ahaha! Yeah, kids can be reckless sometim--wait, what? Destroy as in 'wrecked', as in everything in her room was completely trashed? You know, walls have holes in them, and the furniture is trashed?"

"Yes. That's exactly it. Why do you ask?"

"N-No reason. Just curious." And with that, Linda closed the door on him. "Oh boy. I suddenly have a feeling that things are about to get much, much worse here." And just at that moment, his conscience started playing tricks on him, producing what appeared to be a spinning image of himself, but in a devil's costume.

"Oh ho ho! This is just too perfect! That little runt is taking the blame for what you did! Isn't that delicious!?"

Peter thought about it for a long moment. "Well...uh, sure. I guess."

"Y-You hesitated there."

"Well, yeah. I-"

"Don't tell me you're going soft now. After everything you've done in the past, _now_ you start to feel regret!?"

"Well, see, in the past when it happened, it was always intentional. But this time it was an accident. I didn't _mean_ to destroy her room. I was only trying to be Superman. A-And I feel bad that that kid has to take the blame. He's not a bad kid."

"Yeah. So, what are you thinking?"

"I don't know. What are you thinking?" He turned to his other shoulder, hoping his angel conscience would appear on his left shoulder. Sadly, though, he did not. Peter scoffed. "Talk about half-assed. Where's this guy when you always need him?"

What Peter did not know was that Peter's angel conscience was actually stuck in traffic, trying to get to work. And he was very upset about it.

"Come on, you bastard! I'm late for work!" He shouted to the drivers in front of him. He went to sip his coffee, but accidentally spilled it on his costume. "Oh, oh! Oh this is perfect!"

Back to reality...

"Ah jeez! What the hell am I gonna do!?" Peter started pacing around for a moment, thinking of the correct course of action to take. "I can't let that kid suffer in his room alone. I gotta do something. Hmm, maybe I should go talk to Brian. He always knows what to do when it comes to me screwing up. Except for that time I owed money to the IRS."

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cutaway to Brian answered the front door. Some guys from the IRS are standing there._

_"Excuse me, sir. We're looking for a Peter Griffin? We're from the IRS to collect money he owes us."_

_"Sure. Follow me." Brian led the two men up the stairs to Peter and Lois's room. Brian opened the door and was surprised to see that Peter was about to hang himself on a nuse while wearing an old clown suit._

_"Uh...oh. Hi Brian. I thought you went out. I see you brought...guys from the IRS."_

_Brian stared at Peter shell shocked for a moment, but then opened his mouth again. "Is that my old clown suit!?"_

_(End Cutaway)_

So Peter went home, told Brian what had happened, and then the two of them (along with Stewie, who decided to tag along, just to see Isabella) went over to Phineas & Ferb's house and snuck up to Candace's window. "OK, so you landed in that room up there and destroyed it when you launched yourself out of the slingshot, correct?"

"That's right. That's when I accidentally destroyed her room and left the scene in a hurry."

"Ugh, you know what? I can tell this is going to be boring. I'm outta here." Stewie said, climbing out of the strap in which Peter was holding him, and started walking to Isabella's house. He knocked on the front door, and was delighted to see Isabella answer it.

"Oh. You're that baby from one of the families that moved in, aren't you?" She immediately questioned, a bit skeptical.

"Uh, yeah. My family's about to humiliate themselves which will probably result in us having to move to Cuba and forcing us to change our names. So I figured, you know, I'd come here and...maybe we could play together for a while until that happens."

"Sure! I always love playing with babies!" She said happily as she picked Stewie up and held her as she carried him inside. Stewie squealed quietly to himself. They took a seat on the couch in the living room and she turned on the TV.

_This is perfect. My plan is already in fruition._Stewie thought to himself. They turned on the TV and tuned into 'License to Wed'. "Oh my god, just look at how much of a jackass Robin Williams is acting like. God, two more movies like this and he could open his own video store/strip club."

Isabella started laughing for no reason. "You're funny!"

"Yeah, I know. I've been told that."

"Yeah, you remind me a lot of my friend, Phineas!"

"Oh I know. Isn't he-wait, what?"

"Yeah. He's so funny, fun-loving, outgoing, and he's got the cutest little smile!"

"Um...I'm sure he does. But let's try to stay on topic here. Um, so are they any romantic comedies on right now? I heard Romeo & Juliet is on. It's a great romance movie to watch when you're trying to seu-I mean, be with someone you like _alot_. Hey, why don't you stay here and flip through the channels, you know, try to find it, and I'll go in the kitchen and make us a snack."

"OK." Stewie got up from Isabella's lap and went into the kitchen. He pulled out a mini handbook on how to cook fancy food, and started preparing a meal with all the food Isabella had in her fridge. It took him only a few minutes to prepare the feast, and by the time he was done, he had prepared lobster with a Cesar salad and a glass of champagne for the two of them.

"I'm back, my dear. And I brought lobster with me!" But when he came back into the room, he was surprised to see that Isabella wasn't flipping through TV channels, but was instead looking lovingly into a picture of Phineas. It was only when Stewie cussed that out that she noticed him standing there.

"Oh. Stewie. I didn't see you there."

"What the hell are you doing!?" He marched over to her and snagged the picture out of her hands. "I don't believe this! You're crushing on _this _kid!? What does he have that I don't!?"

"Why do you care so much that I'm crushing on Phineas and not...oh, wait. I get it. Aww, that is _so _cute!" She put the picture down, picked him up, and hugged him tightly, squeezing some life out of him. "You've got a crush on _me_."

"Wow, it only took you 11 minutes to figure it out. Now please put me down. You are suffocating me, and our budget cannot afford Gary Colemen to substitute for me again!"

She put the boy down on her lap. "Stewie, look, just because I'm in love with someone else doesn't mean I don't like you. I mean, you are a baby after all. You're supposed to be cute and cuddly."

"Wow, thanks, Isabella. I feel loads better." He said sarcastically.

"But, Phineas has...more than that. I mean, he does these crazy insane projects that most kids would never dare doing. He's built a rollercoaster, and a time machine, heck, he's even gone to Mars!"

"Oh yeah. That's every gay guy's dream."

"He's not afraid to take on whatever challenge life hands him. That's why I like him so much."

Stewie looked at her for a long while, and could tell this was something she had her mind set in stone on. "Wow, you're really serious about this. God, I haven't seen anyone express their opinion like this since Obama called Kanye a jackass."

"He did what?"

"Alright, alright. Listen to me." He sighed. "I know I'm going to regret this in the long run, but, since you're so passionate about this kid, and since he seems to have no idea about it..." He pinched the bridge of his eyebrows, and then looked up at her. "I'm going to help you win him over."

"You'd really do that for me?"

"Of course. I still like you, even though you don't like me in that way. The least I could do is help. But first, we gotta bust him out of his punishment."

"Punishment? He got in trouble."

"Oh yeah. Didn't you hear? OK, long story short. My dad builds a slingshot, slings himself into his sister's room by accident, she blames him, he gets grounded, and now here we are."

"Oh no! That's terrible! She can't do that!" She immediately clenched her fists, stood up, and started storming to the door.

"Wait a minute! Wait a minute!" Stewie shouted running to her to stop her. "Peter and Brian are already over there and right now they're trying to prove his innocence."

"They are?"

"Sure. I mean, it's been 11 minutes since the incident happened, and we've surely got to keep the plot moving. Come on, let's go check it out. It's gonna be fun because either Candace is going to look like an ass**** for accusing him in the first place, or Peter's going to look like a retard for failing miserably."

* * *

Speak of the devil, he was right. Brian and Peter were in the living room, and everybody, even Phineas, was gathered in the living room, as Brian & Peter were about to prove Phineas's innocence.

"Thank you all for being here right now." Peter said to them.

"Can we hurry this up!? I've got to meet Stacy at the mall in 20 minutes!" Candace screamed.

"Oh, I don't think you'll be meeting anyone anywhere after we show you these tapes."

"What is all this about?" Lawrence inquired.

"Folks, on these videotapes is the proof that will set Phineas Flynn free and expose Candace Flynn for the jerk she really is and Linda Flynn for the idiot she is for believing her in the first place." Brian inserted the first tape, which was a security tape of Candace's room.

"So what? This is just my room."

"Correction. This is your room_ before _it gets destroyed. But watch." They all focused their eyes on the TV for a moment, and waited until finally, the moment came where Peter crashed into the room, and destroyed every square foot of her room. Everyone, except for Phineas, Brian, and Peter, gasped in shocked. Candace gasped the loudest, and soon, eyes were starting to turn on her. "As you can see, the accused, Phineas Flynn, was nowhere near the sight of the scene of the crime when it occured."

"But...Candace...you said for sure that it was Phineas." Linda was completely appalled at the fact that her daughter would lie about something this serious.

"I-I-I-" Candace began to stutter, having no defense ready.

"The truth of it is, she never actually saw anybody destroy her room in the first place." Peter continued. "She simply saw her room was destroyed."

"This is...this is unbelievable!" Linda shouted, completely blown away by the evidence just presented to her.

"Ha! You see!? I told you I was innocent! I would never do anything that crazy!" Phineas pointed to Linda & Candace, & shouted happily, knowing he was in the clear with this.

"Well, Phineas, I-"

"Don't bother speaking. You and your bitch daughter over here have already done enough! Now, Phineas, I think you know what this means."

"Yes. Yes I do." Phineas stood up and started walking upstairs.

"Wait a minute. Where are you going? D-Don't you know what this means!?"

"Sure I do. It means I'm clear. But it's also 9:00. There's not enough time for me and Ferb and our friends to do the wacky project we had planned for today." No one realized just how quickly time had passed for everyone. It was nightfall now and nobody saw it coming.

"What?" Brian checked his watch. "Oh, he's right."

"Yeah. I guess it is time for us to hit the hay." Lawrence and everybody else started murmuring around while Phineas headed up for bed. Meanwhile, on the TV, another tape began playing, showing Peter being launched by the slingshot, but from a different angle. "Hey Peter, what is this?"

"What? Oh this. Well, this is me getting shot out of the slingshot that I had built that had caused me to have her room destroyed. I have no idea who was taping it though..."

"It was me." Quagmire admitted. "I taped it. I was going to send it to Tosh.o."

At that moment, Stewie & Isabella busted down the door. "Did we miss it!? Did we miss it!?" Stewie shouted repeatedly until he realized that they were too late and Phineas was already cleared. "Oh, we missed it."

**End of Chapter 3!**

**Sorry if this chapter seems a bit rushed to you. I couldn't wait to get to the really good stuff!**

**Next Time: If you thought Candace was crazy, just wait 'til you see Phineas go bonkers!**

**Expected Update: Between December 18th to December 20th.**


	5. Driving Miss Crazy

**Crossover with _Phineas and Ferb_ and _Family Guy_**

**Road To: A New Cartoon**

**Chapter 4: Driving Miss Crazy**

**A/N: "The Dude", as much as I would really appreciate your wonderful reviews, I respect whatever decision you make about it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own _Phineas and Ferb_ or _Family Guy_. Those shows belong to _Dan Povenmire & Jeff "Swampy" Marsh_ and _Seth MacFarlane_. If you guys are reading this, you know...it's not a bad idea.**

**TV-14-DLV (Rated T on the site)**

* * *

"Dialogue"

_'Thoughts', __Long-distance conversations (such as on the phone), song lyrics, or cutaways/flashbacks_

**_"Voice-overs, either from a flashback in present time, or from present time during a Flashback."_**

* * *

That night, Phineas & Ferb were asleep in their beds. Having just been cleared of any wrong-doing and his punishment being made null and void, Phineas was happy as can be going to sleep. But...those thoughts of joy and happiness were suddenly dampened when Phineas started having a bad dream. The dream was about Phineas and Ferb doing another one of their summer projects, and this time, Linda actually sees them, and starts yelling at them mercilessly about being selfish boys and not thinking about the ones that care about them or anything like that. As a result, Linda ended up grounding them for life, which made Candace very excited.

There was more too it, but by the time it terrified him enough to wake him up, he had forgotten about it.

"Oh, wow. That was a horrible dream!" Phineas said to himself. He looked over to his side and saw Ferb still sleeping. "But what if it ends up real? This time, I was cleared of wrong-doing, but what if next time, it gets even worse, and I may never be able to do any of these wacky summer projects with my friends ever again!?"

Phineas got out of bed and started pacing around. It was about 11 o' clock at night. "And why would mom think that I'm such a bad boy? Doesn't she know me by now? I'm a kind and caring person. Why can't she see that!?"

He went over to his dresser and pulled out his notebook of "Big Ideas", which was just a list of some big projects he and Ferb would do this summer. He noticed that all of his planned ideas involved just him, his stepbrother, and his friends. None of them involved their families at all. But that's how it's always been, and until now, it's never been a problem. "Hmm, maybe she's got a point. Maybe I"ve been way too selfish about these things. Well then, I know what I have to do."

So Phineas got dressed into his trademark orange shirt & blue shorts, and climbed out his back window. "Sorry, old friend. But there's something that I have to do."

* * *

The next day, everyone in the Flynn-Fletcher home was wide awake, and eating breakfast at the breakfast table, with the exception of Phineas, of course. Candace had received a very stern talk from Mrs. Flynn the night before about accusing her brothers of outlandish things like destroying her room. (Candace had done this many times before, with the many projects they did, but Linda thought they were so outrageous that it wasn't even worth a talk).

"Ferb, where's your brother?" Lawrence asked his son. "He didn't come down for breakfast this morning."

"Yeah, and he wasn't in his room when I went to check on him last night." Candace added. "Though he probably was just in the bathroom."

"Oh dear, I hope he's not too upset at us for wrongly accusing him of destroying Candace's room. I feel terrible about it." Linda said, with sure guilt in her voice.

"I'm sure he's fine." Lawrence reassured them all. "He's probably just sleeping in - something he hasn't done...ever."

But that theory was thrown out the window as soon as Linda decided to turn on the TV.

"Good morning, I'm Tom Tucker."

"And I'm Diane Simmons."

"Our top story this morning: Do us Americans truly give our Veterans enough credit for the payment they give us as Americans? The answers are mixed. But it seems like Virginia is doing its part more than any other state in the country. At least that's what people are saying after the recent opening of the new shelter for veterans entitled "Club Phineas".

Everyone, upon hearing those words, dropped their utensils and looked at the TV.

"Good morning, I'm Trisha Takanawa. I'm standing outside "Club Phineas" where, about 7 hours ago, people began complaining of loud construction noises coming from this area. About 2 hours later, this luxurious 3-story building was born. Inside, there is everything a retired veteran could possibly ask for: A casino, a bar, 100 hotel rooms, and a 4-star restaurant with chef Gordon Ramsey preparing only the finest food for them."

As Trisha was talking into her microphone, Phineas Flynn came out of his restaurant and walked over to where they were standing. He was looking slightly tired, but with much enthusiasm in his smile.

"Ah, here comes the owner now."

"Oh my god, he's a dwarf." Tom Tucker commented upon seeing Phineas.

"Tom, I don't think he's actually a dwarf."

"Oh come on, Diane. You can't expect me to believe that this kid is 10 years old. Are you?" Tom asked Phineas.

"Why yes. Yes I am. Well, actually, I'm not turning 10 until October."

"Really? You look rather short for your age."

"Actually, I'm about 4'6"."

"That's about right for your age."

"So what made you decide to build your own 'Hotel for Veterans'?" Trisha asked Phineas.

"Well I was walking down the street one night and I noticed that there were a lot of guys in uniform just lying in the streets everywhere. I went up to one of them and asked them why he was on the streets instead of at home with his family. And the guy said that he didn't have a home or a family. And it just tore me up inside. So I decided that he along with many of the other veterans on the street should have a chance to have a home.

"Well there you have it. A young child giving back to his community. His mother must be very proud."

"She's either really proud or really dead. Thank you Trisha. Coming up: What does it mean when a woman leaves a fake mustache at your home? I'll have the answer after this."

* * *

The Griffins shut their TV off and looked at each other, exchanging glances of confusion. "Did you see that?" Lois asked, breaking the awkward silence.

"Yeah. We really need to get an HD TV in the kitchen."

"No, not that, Peter. I mean--"

"I know what you meant, Lois! I was making a joke!"

"Oh. Well, that was pretty funny. That was. But, seriously, what was all that about?"

"So the kid built a veterans' hotel in the middle of the night? What's the big idea? He does this kind of stuff all the time."

"Well, yeah, but he did it in the middle of the night."

"Yeah, usually he does it in the day with his friends." Brian added. "I wonder what made him decide to do it on his own. And during the night, too."

"Hey, you don't think this has anything to do with the fact that he was falsely accused of doing something Peter did yesterday, do you?" Lois asked them, which really got them all thinking.

"You know, that's always a possibility." Stewie said, which got Brian's attention, but no one else's. "I mean, if I was in his position, and my bitch of a mother stole a day of summer away from me, I'd be pretty angry. Maybe that's how he decided to express his anger. Like the time Peter tried to express his anger through coloring."

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cutaway to Peter drawing on a sketch pad in the kitchen, angry as hell over something._

_"Peter, are you OK?" His wife asked him._

_"No! Angela was mean to me today!"_

_"Well talk to me about it."_

_"I don't feel like talking. I feel like coloring."_

_"OK, then. You can draw your feelings. That way you won't have you strain your voice."_

_Peter continued to scribble down on his piece of paper. After about a couple of minutes, he lifted his paper up and gave it to Lois. The picture he drew detailed him cutting her up with a chainsaw angrily, which disgusted Lois._

_(End Cutaway)_

* * *

"And Phineas & Ferb do these kinds of things every single day?" Linda asked having just witnessed Phineas's most recent achievement on TV.

"Yes! Yes! Yes! YES!" Candace shouted gleefully in her chair, having finally gotten the evidence she needed to bust them. Though, if you ask me, she doesn't have the jurisdiction to do this right now considering she just accused him of destroying her room.

"Oh my goodness, Candace. I owe you a huge apology! I'm so sorry I ever thought you were insane out of your mind, and that I mocked you behind your back!"

"You did what!?"

"Candace, can you ever forgive me!?"

"Well..." Candace grinned evily, seeing this as an opportunity she had been waiting for for revenge on her mom. "I don't know, mom. I mean, you hurt me pretty bad, and I'm not sure I can just forgive that, especially when it's coming from an ego-maniac jerk like yourself!!"

"Candace, honey, relax!"

"I DON"T WANNA RELAX NOW!! You made me this way, mom!"

"Actually, you made yourself this way." Ferb interrupted, which made Candace even angrier.

"OH WHO ASKED YOU!?"

* * *

Later that day, Stewie had gone to Isabella's house to help her out with her Phineas problem.

"OK, now, if you're going to get that boy to notice you, you've got to figure out what he likes." Stewie explained to Isabella. The two of them were in her room at the moment.

"Oh that's easy. I've been hanging out with him for five years. He likes to build things, enjoy his summer vacation, make other people happy, and be a nice person. He pretty much likes everything. Well...everything except for Billy Joel."

"Oh who doesn't hate him? OK, so clearly, your problem is not associated with getting him to notice you. I mean, if he didn't like you, or he didn't know you existed, you wouldn't have made a backyard beach or built a time machine, is that right?"

"Yeah, I suppose so."

"So I'm assuming your problem is that you can never rack up the courage to talk to him about these feelings of yours."

"Of course. Every time I feel like I'm finally going to get a chance to spill my heart out to him, I end up stumbling, or he ends up not understanding what I mean."

"Yes, yes. Us boys can be such arrogant bastards sometimes. Like the time Kanye ruined Taylor Swift's acceptance speech at the MTV awards. Anyway, it seems to me that the only way that you're going to have any chance of winning him over is if you 'up' your appearence."

"What do you mean?"

"You need a makeover. And I know the perfect person to do that. Isabella, I would like to introduce to you Mr. Tim Gunn." Stewie walked over to the door and opened it, revealing Project Runway's Tim Gunn to be standing there. "He's graciously volenteered to help you win that boy over."

"Volenteered? Stewie, you threatened to kill my family."

"What family?"

* * *

Phineas had just wrapped up his business at the hotel and decided to walk home, satisfied that he had just helped many of the army veterans we have in the U.S. He strolled all the way home and walked through his front door. His family were all waiting on the couch in the living room for his return. And although Linda wanted to scold him for making them worry and for sneaking out the previous night, after falsely accusing him of destroying Candace's room and grounding him, all she wanted was a talk.

"Hi mom. Hi dad. Hi Candace. Hi Ferb." Phineas happily greeted his family. His eyelids were a bit fallen because he was tired, but he wasn't going to let that destroy his enthusiasm.

"Phineas, we saw you on TV." Linda said firmly, but not harshly.

"You did?" He asked taking a seat on the couch.

"We sure did. I can't believe you built an entire hotel for veterans."

"We're even calling it 'Hotel for Veterans'."

"But why?" Linda asked again. "Why did you decide to built a hotel?"

"And without me, for that matter?" Ferb added.

"Well, it's like I do everyday. Ferb and I come up with something to do for that day, and we do it. And at the end of the day, it magically disappears. Except for this one. The hotel's still standing."

"No, I meant why did you do it in the first place after sneaking out of your room last night?"

"Well..." The truth was, Phineas was afraid to tell his family the truth that he was scared of being labeled as a bad boy again. "I...had a bad dream that all of our war veterans were going to die in the streets and then bad people would come to our house and kill us all."

"So you thought that by building that hotel of yours you would be helping not only those veterans on the street, but us as well?"

"Y-Yeah. Sure, let's go with that."

"Oh, Phineas, you have such a good heart. But you're too young to have to worry about something like that. A boy your age should worry about what Santa's gonna bring him for Christmas, or how to stand up to a bully, or even how to blackmail your sister."

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cutaway to Phineas Flynn walking down the hallway to his room. He passes by Candace's room, and as he does, she slams it open and it slams into him, knocking him to the ground. Candace is holding her diary, rather close to her._

_"Move it, dweeb!" She shouted as she took her leave and started running towards the front door._

_"Candace wait!" Phineas noticed Candace dropped something in her quick haste. He pulled up the little paper and realized it was a photo. It was a photograph of Candace...and Jeremy...doing something very nasty. "Oh god! Oh god, this is gross! Oh, dude! Ah! Why would you photograph this!?"_

_(End Cutaway)_

"Yeah, I suppose you're right. So, you're not mad?"

"No. No I'm not. Just promise you won't go crazy over this and do something stupid."

"I promise, mom." Phineas reassured her, as he stood up, dusted himself off, and walked upstairs into his room, where, instead of catching up on some sleep, he pulled out his idea pad and started jotting down more ideas. "I like to keep moving forward, anyway. She still hasn't apologize for making me suffer like they did! And they never will if I just keep playing fair like this! I have to step it up a notch. I have to do something...or some_things_ so outrageous, so selfless, that mom and Candace will have no choice but to apologize to me!! Yeah, that's it! And I promise I won't rest until they do!"

* * *

Later that night, when everybody was asleep, Phineas was up and busy trying to find a way to help his society. He had gone out to the local pound and decided to help all of the animals there find good homes for people.

Phineas worked around the clock, trying to get all the dogs and cats in there a good home. Many people stopped inside, looking for a pet, while others came in, simply looking to return their pets, hoping that they would go to a rightful home. Phineas felt good helping so many people get what they wanted, even though the feeling of fatigue was starting to settle in.

By the time he had finished, it was past midnight, and Phineas was exhausted and sweating, having had less to eat & drink than normal, and hardly any sleep the past two days. But that wasn't going to slow him down. He was determined to prove his mother & sister wrong by any means necessary.

After his ordeal there, he decided that his next act of kindness should be to clean up all of the graffiti around town. And in Danville, there was lots of graffiti. A lot of gang-bangers vandalism public property, and Phineas was not going to have any of it. So he gathered a lot of wash cloths, buckets of water, and started going around town, cleaning up the town, the desire to eat something & then sleep it off at the back of his mind. 36 hours without sleep and he has yet to hit his wall.

**End of Chapter 4!**

**Next time: Phineas pushes himself far past his limit, and it's up to his friends & family to pull him out before he digs his own grave.**

**Expected Update: Maybe by December 27th. I'm not sure at this point. Just bear with me.**


	6. Total Meltdown

**Crossover with _Phineas and Ferb_ and _Family Guy_**

**Road To: A New Cartoon**

**Chapter 5: Total Meltdown**

**Disclaimer: I don't own _Phineas and Ferb_ or _Family Guy_. Those shows belong to _Dan Povenmire & Jeff "Swampy" Marsh_ and _Seth MacFarlane_. If you guys are reading this, you know...it's not a bad idea.**

**TV-14-DLV (Rated T on the site)**

* * *

"Dialogue"

_'Thoughts', __Long-distance conversations (such as on the phone), song lyrics, or cutaways/flashbacks_

**_"Voice-overs, either from a flashback in present time, or from present time during a Flashback."_**

* * *

The next morning, everybody was up and about, making breakfast or getting ready to go to work, as was the case for Quagmire, Joe, and Lawrence. Everyone else in their families were eating breakfast, and watching TV.

"Our little boy wonder has done it again." Diane Simmons said on the TV, to the surprise of the Flynn-Fletcher family. "Young Phineas Flynn, the boy wonder who built that hotel for our army veterans, has gone on to help all of the animals in the Danville Pound find new homes, as well as clean up all the vandalism in town last night."

"Our very own Asian correspondant Trisha Takanawa has caught up with the boy wonder and is here with us now. Trisha?"

The TV scene switched over to Trisha standing with Phineas in what appeared to be the front yard of the Flynn-Fletcher home.

"Hey, that's our front yard!" Candace pointed out.

"OK, this is getting serious. Come on." Linda ordered as they all walked out of their kitchen and stepped outside to see Trisha Takanawa there, interviewing Phineas again.

"Thanks, Tom. I'm here with the boy wonder himself, who is obviously busy working on another project to help his community. Sir, may I ask what you're planning to do now?" There was a toolbox behind Phineas.

"Well now that the town has been cleaned of its vandalism, I am now resorting to working on a way to find a cure for Swine Flu. We're in a pandemic, you know." Phineas explained to Trisha.

"Believe me, I do. My stepmother just died of Swine Flu, and she was 37."

"Oh. And how old are you?"

"27."

"OK....that's kinda creepy. Anyway..."

"Phineas!" Linda shouted, scaring the two of them as they turned around to face the Flynn family, all of which had angry and yet moreso concerned looks on their faces. "What on Earth are you doing?"

"Excuse me, ma'am. We're in the middle of an interview."

"I'm not gonna take that crap from a hispanic lady!"

"But I'm Japanese--"

"Now, Phineas, we have to talk."

"About what, mom?"

"We're all getting a bit worried about you. You've been out of the house and around town for the past 2 days pulling off these ridiculous stunts for no reason at all. You've barely eaten or slept at all! What's going on?"

"You...You seriously don't know?"

"No, Phineas. I don't. I'm not a mind reader!"

"Well, mom, no offense, but if you haven't been able to figure it out by now, then there is something very, very wrong with you. I mean, after what happened a couple of days ago, I thought it'd be clear by now."

"No, Phineas. No it is not. You know, Phineas, you're really starting to worry me. Like Candace does when she goes hysterical trying to get you and Ferb in trouble."

"Yes, she can be a handful, can't she?" Lawrence agreed, to which Candace took offense.

At that moment, the Griffin family all walked into the scene, also confused at what was happening. Pretty soon, even Joe & Quagmire joined them. "Hey, hey, hey, what is going on here?" Peter immediately asked.

"We don't know." Candace began explaining. "Mom's giving Phineas a verbal lashing."

"Ugh, not this crap again." Lois mumbled to herself.

"What? It's just that Phineas has been out doing nice stuff for everybody in Danville for the past 2 days. But he hasn't been taking care of himself. I mean, he's barely eaten, and he hasn't slept in 2 days, and we're just worried about him. That's all."

"Oh yeah, with the whole hotel for veterans thing and the cleaning up the vandalism." Peter looked down at the boy, and could see that Phineas was very tired. Phineas's hair was messed up a little bit, his clothes were wrinkled and starting to smell, his eyes had some dark circles around them, and he was slouching, something Phineas never, ever did. "So what's up with you, kid? Why are you doing these kinds of things? I mean, it's not like I don't commend you for doing them. It's not like that at all. In fact, I wish I could be like you sometimes. The last time I tried to help somebody, I got shunned."

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cutaway to Peter lying in a hospital bed with Dr. Hartman there with him. There is a second bed next to Peter's bed, and lying in it is a homeless veteran dying of leukemia._

_"Mr. Griffin, for the last time, I can't let you donate your lungs to this homeless veteran." Dr. Hartman told Peter._

_"What!? Why not?"_

_"Well, for one, you cannot donate both your lungs and live."_

_"Uh, OK."_

_"And second of all, donating your lungs will not help this man. He is dying of leukemia, which is not cancer of the lungs. It is a cancer of the bone or bone marrow--"_

_"Boring! I'm gonna see what's on TV!" Peter pulled out a remote and turned on the TV. "Ooh, it's Saturday Night Live! Ooh! And it's another one of those Celebrity Jeopardy skits with Sean Connery! Man, I love those!"_

_(End Cutaway)_

"Seriously, what is the matter with you?"

"You guys too? Well, I'm sorry, but if you guys can't figure it out by now, then I'm not telling!"

"Fine! Stay out here for all I care!" Linda shouted out. "Come on, let's go back inside." Linda dragged her whole family back inside their home. She was too frustrated and, between you and me, just too damn lazy, to want to deal with Phineas right now.

"Well, this is...awkward." Stewie commented.

"Jeez, can you believe them? That woman sounded like she doesn't even care about this kid. That _is_ a woman, right?"

"I'm pretty sure, it is, Peter." Lois replied quietly, as they all started heading back to their home.

"Hey guys, wait!" Before they were stopped by Phineas. The boy walked up to the family. "Look, if you guys really want to know, I'm doing this stuff because Candace and my mom still haven't apologized for falsely accusing me for destroying her room."

"You're still upset about that?"

"Yeah! I mean, it's bad enough it happened once! What if it happens again? And besides, would an apology kill them?"

"You mean they never said they were sorry for what happened?"

"No. No they did not. Could've sworn I just said that."

"And so you think that by staying outside and doing good deeds for everyone but yourself, they'll see the error of their ways and apologize to you?" Brian tried to comprehend what Phineas's plan was, but was worried for his sake.

"That's right. And I promised myself that I wouldn't rest until the both of them said they're sorry. So don't try and stop me."

"We're just a little worried about you. I mean, don't you think this is bad for your health?" Lois explained.

"My what?"

"Listen, kid, if you need to get away from them for a while, you're more than welcome to stay at our house for a couple of days. All you have to do is ask." Peter told Phineas. "Besides, it's been a while since we've had a house guest."

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cutaway to somebody under the blankets in Peter & Lois's bed. Actually, there are two people under the blankets, and they are....uh, having a sexual intercourse. But Peter comes into the room, looking pissed off._

_"OK, Cleveland, I don't care if it's your honeymoon!" Peter shouted to the bed, as the two people pulled the blankets off of them, revealing it to be Cleveland & Loretta under them. "Get out of my f*cking house!"_

_(End Cutaway)_

"Nah, that's OK. I'm fine out here. Just promise me that you won't mention this to my family, OK?"

"Sure, no pro. We can keep a secret." Lois smiled at Phineas, and then turned to her husband. "Can't we, Peter?"

"What? Why are you looking at me?"

"Peter, you are a terrible secret keeper."

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_The Griffin family are all sitting at their dinner table, eating quietly. You would think that there wasn't anything wrong with this picture._

_"So, kids, how was school today?" Lois asked her two children who were in school._

_"The popular kids dumped raw meat into my locker and then shoved me into it." Meg explained to her mom._

_"I don't care, Meg. I just don't care. How about you, Chris?"_

_Peter started darting his eyes around the table rapidly, as if he knew something nobody else did._

_"Oh, it was OK. I found a dollar on the floor in the locker room, Kyle got suspended from school for beating up a teacher, and I got to raise the flag in front of the school today."_

_"That's wonderful, honey. Anything else happen?"_

_"Well, uh--"_

_"CHRIS FAILED A TEST IN SCHOOL!!" Peter screamed at the top of his lungs without warning. Everybody looked in his direction, and gave him crazy glares. "What? He did! Ask him for yourself."_

_"Dad, I didn't have a test to--oh, wait! I know what you're talking about!" Chris took out a bunch of papers out from underneath his seat, and held them up. "We took a compatibility test we had to take a week ago. We just got our results back today. What were you doing going through my stuff?"_

_"I wasn't going through your stuff. Your backpack was wide open and I saw the papers sticking out."_

_"Oh. Oh yeah, the zippers broke. I forgot to mention that."_

_"See, Peter? There's nothing to worry about. I mean, there's no way to fail a compatibility test. Right, Chris?" Lois said to her son._

_"Actually, mom...I did fail. The test said that there wasn't a single girl in school who would be even remotely compatible to me."_

_"Not one?"_

_"Not one."_

_"Well, Chris, congratulations. You have brought immense shame to this family. From this day forth or until you get married to a pregnant widow, you are the 'New Meg'. Meg, you are now the 'New Chris'."_

_Stewie started laughing like crazy. "Oh Chris, that's horrible! When you get owned like that, you -- I don't even know if they have a name for that! Oh my god, what the hell's happened to us!?"_

**_Everybody Hates Chris!! _**

_(End Cutaway)_

While the Griffin family was leaving the scene, Stewie & Isabella were entering it, the latter wearing a formal ballgown (similar to the one she had in "Gaming the System").

"Alright, Isabella. You know what you have to do." Stewie told her. "Just go up to him and sweep him off his feet."

"Right! There's no way in heck Phineas will be able to resist me now!" She said triumphately as she strolled on over to him. He was still working on a cure for the Swine Flu, not taking his focus off of his work for even a minute. Isabella took one look at him and saw that he slowly going mad. "Hi Phineas." She said in her sweetest voice to him. He didn't look up, though. He just continued on his work. Poor guy. "What'cha doin'?" She said her trademark catchphrase to him, but even that didn't phase him.

She was beginning to grow angry at him, not knowing what he had been doing for two days. "You know, Phineas, in some cultures, it's considered rude not to answer someone when they're talking to you." She waited a few more moments for Phineas to answer. When he didn't, she grew even madder. "Hey! I'm talking to you, here! Why don't you an--"

"Oh my god, Isabella, will you just _SHUT UP_!?" He finally turned around and glared angrily at Isabella with his beat red eyes. He was sweating, too. She flinched when he yelled at her, and even started building up tears in her eyes. "My god, you are so annoying! Can't you see I'm trying to save the world, here! I'm so close to coming up with a cure for Swine Flu, and here you are barking your big mouth at me!"

She gasped in horror. Phineas had never talked to her like that before. "P-Phineas, what's the matter with you? Are you OK?"

"Oh, I'm great. Why?"

"'Cause you're not acting like yourself! You're acting like a jerk."

"_I'm_ a jerk!? Would a jerk go out of his way to help end the H1N1 pandemic!? No! Would a jerk build a hotel to house homeless army dudes!? No! Would a jerk help innocent and injured little dogs and cats find good homes!? No! I'm not a jerk, Isabella! As far as I'm concerned, _you're_ a jerk!"

"Me!?"

"Yes, you! You, Candace, Mom, all those people who called me a bad boy!"

"Bad boy? WHat--" Isabella suddenly remembered what had occured 3 days earlier, with Peter accidentally ruining Candace's room, Candace accusing Phineas of doing it, and Linda grounding him for it. "You honestly believe that you're a bad boy?"

"No! But obviously my mom and sister do! So I'm going to prove to them that I'm not! And unti they apologize for falsely accusing me of destroying Candace's room, I'm not going to stop doing good deeds for everyone! I don't care if it kills me!"

"Don't say that, Phineas! Come on! I need you to come back to reality! You're driving yourself insane, and it's only going to get worse!"

"No I'm not! I'm perfectly fine! I'm just trying to give back to my community, and everybody's rudely interrupting me! So if there isn't anything else I can do for you, I'm gonna get back to this, OK?" And with that, he huffed, turned around, and went back to work. Hurt, distraught, and just utterly confused, Isabella started tearing up, and ran away, crying her eyes out. She ran right over to the Griffin family who were standing at a safe distance from the boy.

"I'm losing my best friend!" SHe said as she sobbed into Peter's clothes.

"Aw, this sucks, Lois." Peter turned to his wife. "Ever since that boy's idiot feminine side of the family put him through that hell, he's been going nuts. He's so obsessed with trying to prove to them that he's a good boy that he's not taking care of himself and he's neglecting all of his friends, including this girl right here."

"Yep. It is a shame." A voice said from behind them all, which, when they all turned around, was revealed to be Death. "I see this kind of stuff all the time. Kid gets blamed, turns out not to be him, he goes nuts, and the family grieves forever. Sad story. Funny though, to me."

"Death? What are _you_ doing here?"

"Well, a bunch of the guys down in hell are having a bet on when that kid over there's gonna crack." He referred to Phineas. "$20 says he goes by Sunday."

"Wait, you're betting on this kid's life!?" Lois questioned.

"Yes. Yes I am. It's what I do!"

"Listen here, buster!" Isabella stormed right up to death and gave him a death glare. "You can't bet on my best friend like that! I won't let you! It's sick and inhumane!"

"I'll say!" Peter agreed...

"Thank you."

"$20 is way too cheap! They'll think you're a wimp. You gotta go for at least 40." Sort of.

"I say $50 he goes by tomorrow!" Chris immediately jumped in.

"I see your 50 and I raise you 100 for Monday." Meg jumped in as well, getting excited for the dumbest reasons.

"Are you people out of your minds! My best friend & crush is driving himself into a grave and you're just gonna bet money on when he cracks!? Jesus, you people are deranged!" She sat on the ground, tears forming in her eyes again. "Well, at least I know I can trust you, Stewie..." She turned her head to look at her new friend, and saw that he, too, was putting his money where his mouth was. She let her jaw drop and then clentched her teeth in anger at him. Stewie put the money away and stared back at her.

"$200 says he passes out by Tuesday."

**End of Chapter 5!**

**Hope you liked the _Everybody Hates Chris_ reference! I think I might do another one for "The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb" real soon.**

**Next Time: Phineas drives himself deeper into a hole while everybody else (almost everybody else) tries everything in their power to get him to stop.**

**Expected Update: ??? Maybe January 11th or something like that.**

**Happy 2010!**


	7. What Goes Around Comes Around

**Crossover with _Phineas and Ferb_ and _Family Guy_**

**Road To: A New Cartoon**

**Chapter 6: What Goes Around Comes Around (With a Pistol)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own _Phineas and Ferb_ or _Family Guy_. Those shows belong to _Dan Povenmire & Jeff "Swampy" Marsh_ and _Seth MacFarlane_. If you guys are reading this, you know...it's not a bad idea.**

**TV-14-DLV (Rated T on the site)**

* * *

"Dialogue"

_'Thoughts', __Long-distance conversations (such as on the phone), song lyrics, or cutaways/flashbacks_

**_"Voice-overs, either from a flashback in present time, or from present time during a Flashback."_**

* * *

The Griffin family were all watching TV in their living room the following day, having time to think about what had transpired the previous day. "So, Lois, are you sure it's not a good idea for us to get involved with this kid in any way?" Peter questioned his wife during the commercial.

"Yes. Peter, it's obvious that kid is trying to express his frustration to his family through crazy activities that will probably kill him."

"I wouldn't be surprised if he ended up on 'World'd Dumbest Criminals' on TruTV." Chris commented.

"Chris, you do know that show is about _criminals_, right?" Lois told him.

"So?"

"So, I don't think whatever that boy is doing is going to put him on the path of a criminal. It might put him on the path of the emotionally challenged, but that's probably it."

"Hey Peter, you were on TruTV, weren't you?" Brian asked his owner.

"Oh yeah. How could I forget that? It was World's Dumbest Criminals 8 and it was #20 on the list."

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_Peter is standing in the middle of the highway with an officer there. Peter is drunk and the cop is giving him a sobriety test._

_"Alright, sir, I'm gonna administrate several sobriety tests to you right now before we take the breath test. OK?" The officer told Peter, who didn't seem phased._

_"OK."_

_"Good. Now, I'm going to ask you to recite the alphabet."_

_"Th-The alphabet? You want me to recite the alphabet?"_

_"Yes. From C to Q."_

_"C to Q?"_

_"Yes. Start on C, end on Q."_

_"O-OK." Peter took in a deep breath and began reciting the alphabet. "C-D-E-F-G-H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-P-Q-" Unfortunately, he forgot to stop. "R-S-T-U-V-W-X-Y-Z."_

_The cop looked at him and shook his head. "I said from C to Q."_

_"That's what I did."_

_"No. You went from C to Z. I said C to Q."_

_"So you want me to try again?"_

_"Yes."_

_"OK." He took in a deep breath and began again. "A...B...G-S-E...W-R-T-L-M-K-B...7...question mark...asterik...sailboat...starfish...O-3-17...Adam Sandler...dope." Peter smiled again at the cop who simply shook his head and crossed his arms._

_"That was pathetic, sir."_

_"What? I sang my 1-2-3's."_

_"You weren't even close, man. I don't think a breath test is required. Put your hands behind my back."_

_"What? Like this?" Peter put his hands behind his head._

_"No, behind your back."_

_"L-Like--" He then put them on his knees._

_"No, no. Behind your back, sir!"_

_"That's what I'm doing!"_

_"No, your hands are on your knees! I want them behind your back!"_

_"Like this?" He put his hands in the air and started waving them like he just didn't care. "See? Is this what you want?"_

_The cop shook his head again. "Boy, it's gonna be a real pleasure testifying against you in court."_

_(End Cutaway)_

Peter walked over to the window, and took a look down the street, a couple of houses down. He saw Phineas still working feverishly, this time on a different project. He looked truly exhausted. His eyes were red, with dark circles around them, he was pale, sweating, and his clothes were wrinkled. He was running on empty when it came to food, water, and sleep, and was working on pure adrenaline right now. "Boy, Lois, I just can't help but feel that this was all my fault."

"Well, I wouldn't say it's _all _your fault." Lois walked over to him to comfort him. "I mean, you did apologize to the family and offered to clean that bitch's room, didn't you?"

"Actually, I offered to _pay_ for someone to clean that bitch's room."

"OK, well, who?"

"I hired Consuela."

Everbody suddenly looked Peter's way, taking their attention away from the TV. After the last time they encountered her, they swore they'd never have anything to do with her again. "You hired Consuela?" Lois questioned.

"Yes."

"The hispanic maid we hired who drove us bonkers?"

"Yes ma'am. The very same."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. I figured that this way, I could do a good deed for her, _and_ get some revenge. How does that sound?"

"A-Actually, that's not such a bad idea." Brian said.

"Yeah, it makes perfect sense." Lois complimented her husband. "I mean, that girl needs to be taught a lesson on how not to be such a spoiled sport, and the mother's obviously mentally deficient. This would be perfect."

"Oh boy, you have no ide--" Peter's cellphone started ringing. "Hello?" He answered. "It's Consuela." He told his family. "Yeah? Uh-huh. OK." He hung up. "She's not coming."

"What? Why?"

"She said something about being stuck in traffic or something like that. Dammit, and I was so looking forward to feasting on that girl's tears."

"Metaphorically, right?"

"Oh yeah, yeah, , whatever makes you feel better."

* * *

Several days went by, and nothing changed. Phineas continued to work himself very, very hard, bringing himself closer and closer to collapsing. During these days, he did outrageous projects such as becoming a transplant surgeon, hosting a carnival, building an amusement park, and fixing up an old home for a family after becoming a cast member on "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition".

Phineas was becoming extremely fatigued. No, really. It has now been 6 days since Phineas started this string of unhealthy and ridiculous projects. 6 days with no sleep at all. He had begun eating again, but his sleeping habits, as a result, suffered. Everybody was now worried sick about him, and they were ready to make an intervention.

Right now, he was in his front yard, working on yet another wild project to do for his community. Meanwhile, people had gotten into their cars and decided to block Phineas's way out of his front yard. They drove their cars up to the edge of the front lawn on each side, blocking any way of getting out for him. Phineas simply stood there, confused, while his friends & family, plus Peter, Lois, Chris, Brian, and Stewie, blocked his way into the house.

"W-Wh-What's going on?" He asked, a bit casually, the hint of exhaustion in his voice. His vision was blurred greatly, so he had a hard time making out the images he saw.

"Phineas, honey, we just want to talk." Linda said, slowly stepping up to her son.

"Oh what is it this time, mom!?" Phineas snarled to his mother, who flinched. Candace then tried to approach him.

"Phineas, it's OK. We don't want to hurt you." She neared him slowly and yet he still took offense.

"Get away from me! Get away!" He screamed to them, taking various steps back.

"Phineas, we just want to talk."

"Well...I don't! I don't want to talk to either of you!"

"But Phineas, you've been killing yourself for the past 6 days!" Linda tried to talk some sense into her son, but she wasn't sure how. "Don't you at least deserve a break!?"

"Forget it! No way, hose! Not until you apologize!"

"Apologize? For what?" Linda was truly confused, which pissed the hell out of everybody.

"Oh my god, you don't even know why I'm upset!?" Phineas was the most pissed off out of anybody. "I want _her-_" He hissed at Candace and pointed to her. "to apologize for accusing me of destroying her room when she had no evidence and no reason to do it in the first place!" Candace flinched and even lowered her head in shame. "And I want _you_-" He pointed to his mother. "to apologize for believing her."

"Wait...is this what all this is about!?"

"Wow! Yes!" Phineas said shaking his head angrily. "I can't believe you guys are this _retarded_! I mean, I thought it would at least phase you, but no! You guys aren't even that smart!"

Linda and Candace were suddenly taken aback again. "Retarded!? Phineas, I assure you we are anything but retarded!"

"Yeah, we beg to differ." Peter said, jumping in. "I mean, it took you guys this long to figure it out. My family and I have known for days."

"What!? You have!? Well then, why didn't you stop my son, you idiots!?"

"Um, first of all, I am not 'idiot'! I am mentally retarded, but that's beside the point! Second of all, he asked us to keep it a secret from you guys."

"Did you really?" She turned once again to her son.

"Yes. Yes I did, mom."

"But why?"

"Seriously? Uh, because I wanted you guys to say you were sorry. ANd I still haven't heard an apology! Mom, I'm not going to stop these crazy projects until you and Candace both apologize right now!"

"So...if we say we're sorry, you and Ferb will stop doing those stupid summer projects of yours forever?" Candace said, starting to crack a smile.

"**_CANDACE_**!" Her mother bellowed at her. "Don't make him upset again.

"What? I just want to make sure. I mean they drive me crazy every single summer with their ideas and stuff."

"Well that's your own fault." Phineas said flatly, to which everybody turned around and stared at him. "What? It is. I mean, she's the one acting all snooty, obnoxious, and full of herself. If she doesn't like my ideas, that's her problem. But she ain't going to stop me and Ferb from making summer awesome!"

"Well spoken, kid. Well spoken." Peter said as he patted Phineas on his shoulder. "Well, bitch. You heard him. Go."

"No! You know what, no!! I'm not going to apologize to that little runt! He and his idiot stepbrother have caused me nothing but pain and suffering for the past 5 summers, and I will not put up with it anymore--"

Suddenly, Isabella's rage got the better of her, and she pulled out a shotgun and aimed it at Candace. "**_YOU BETTER APOLOGIZE NOW, YOU MOTHERF*CKER, OR HE'S NOT GONNA BE THE ONLY ONE DEAD ON THE GROUND!_**" She screamed at the top of her lungs. She meant it, too. Candace froze up, mouth open in shock. She had no idea how to responde. "Well, what are you waiting for, you chickensh*t! APOLOGIZE! Now!!"

Everybody else exchanged surprised and confused glares to each other. "Wait a minute? She owns a gun?" Lois asks. "Isn't it illegal for a kid to own a gun?"

"Actually, no." Joe said flatly. "It turns out it's not illegal."

"What? Why?"

"Well, when the mayor was turning out these new laws for the city, he went ahead and listed every single religion he could think of who could not own a gun until they turned 18. But unfortunately, he forgot to listen "Jewish", so now, any Jewish child can own a gun."

"Wait a minute. She's Jewish?"

Candace, still in shock, had no other options but to cry. "Please! Please don't shoot me! I have my life ahead of me!!"

"Oh please! Who are you gonna spend it with!? Jeremy doesn't like party-poopers! That's what you are, Candace! You're a party-pooper! You rain on their fun!! You're so uptight about them and their wonderful summer projects that you set out every single day to try and get them in trouble! And that's just because you think they're going to ruin your day. _Your_ day! I have never in my life met someone as conceited as yourself, Candace! And what's worse -- Phineas has dedicated some of his summer days to help _YOU_ get with Jeremy! The fancy restaurant, the romantic cruise, conquering your fear of heights and space...he's helped you with all of that, and you _still_ don't have any respect for him or for Ferb! You do everything in your power to make sure they don't annoy you when all along they're just trying to have fun!!! F*cking selfish. That's what you are. How can you live with youself!? How can you sleep at night with the way you treat Phineas!? And what is with that neck of yours!? Why is it so damn long!? It makes you look like an ostrich or something! And I have no idea why Jeremy thinks you're so pretty! If you ask me, you're one of the most unattractive, unsophisticated, most uptight girls I have ever met in my entire life!!"

Everybody, except for Linda, was practically on Isabella's side, and silently praising her in their minds for standing up to her.

"But you know something? I could forvige all of that -- all of it -- if you weren't such a bore. That's the worst of it, Candace. You're just a selfish, stuck-up, medicore, g*ddamn bore!" She sighed heavily as she swung her gun and smacked her in the head, knocking her to the ground. She turned back to Phineas, ran over to him, and gave him a hug, wrapping her arms around his neck. Phineas was confused as to why she did this, but he didn't argue, as he was too tired.

Linda simply scoffed. "Can you believe kids these days?" She said as Candace stood up.

"Actually, mom, she's right..."

"What!?"

Candace trudged over quietly to Phineas. Phineas was still pissed at her, as he showed it with an angry glare. But his expression loosened as she stared at him with a compassionate look in her eyes. "Phineas, I'm sorry. Alright, I really am. I'm sorry for accusing you of destroying my room. Of all the crap you put me through, I should know by now that you're just too nice of a person to ever do something so mean and cruel. Look, the reason I'm so hard on you and Ferb at times is because I'm jealous."

"Jealous...you mean, jealous of me and Ferb?"

"Yes! I'm jealous that you guys can do the nearly impossible. You've built a rollercoaster, you made a time machine, you even made a boat of romance! Phineas, whatever you set your mind to, you do. Why? Because you and Ferb are motivated by nothing but fun, and I've always been jealous. Sometimes, I secretly wish I had the talents that you have. You can do anything, and that's why I've always been secretly proud to be your older sister...when I wasn't secretly jealous."

"And that's why you're always out to get me and Ferb in trouble?"

"Yeah. But, you guys never seem to care. Why?"

"Because, dear sister, we're not going to let anything stop us from having the best summer ever. I mean, if we lived in fear of you all summer, we wouldn't have the chance to have all the great adventures we've had. And if you just learned to loosen up a bit, I'd be more than willing to invite you on more of them."

"Really?"

"Of course."

Candace started to smile a bit. "Seriously, Phineas. I'm really sorry."

Phineas looked at her for a moment before responding with a deep sigh. "Thank you! Was that really so hard?"

She shook her head no. "No. No it wasn't I actually feel better." She looked up at her mother. "OK, mom. Your turn."

"What? Are you serious?"

"Mom, I did it, and I had the harder task. I'm sure you can do it no problem."

"Alright, alright! Fine. I'll do it." She took in a deep breath before turning to her son. "Phineas, I'm...I'm...I'm sorry. OK? I shouldn't have accused you. Like Candace said, you're too nice to ever do something like that. I'm sorry."

"Finally." Phineas said as he walked away from Isabella's grasp. "That's all I wanted. An apology. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to pass out now. Don't wake me up." And he did. Phineas fell face first into the ground, asleep on impact. Everybody was finally able to breath and relax, knowing that Phineas was done with his non-stop projects. Isabella picked him up, and with Ferb's help, brought him into her house, got him showered, and put him in nice, clean pajamas, and tucked him into bed.

Everybodytayed back and talked for a few moments. "So, Joe, how do you know when you're Jewish?"

**End of Chapter 6!**

**If you couldn't tell, Isabella's rant was a reference to the FG episode "Jerome is the New Black".**

**Next Time: It's not over yet. I have at least one more chapter planned before I wrap this up!**

**Expected Update: Check anytime after January 20th.**


	8. Talk About Spilling the Beans

**Crossover with _Phineas and Ferb_ and _Family Guy_**

**Road To: A New Cartoon**

**Chapter 7: Talk About Spilling the Beans**

**Disclaimer: I don't own _Phineas and Ferb_ or _Family Guy_. Those shows belong to _Dan Povenmire & Jeff "Swampy" Marsh_ and _Seth MacFarlane_. If you guys are reading this, you know...it's not a bad idea.**

**TV-14-DLV (Rated T on the site)**

* * *

"Dialogue"

_'Thoughts', __Long-distance conversations (such as on the phone), song lyrics, or cutaways/flashbacks_

**_"Voice-overs, either from a flashback in present time, or from present time during a Flashback."_**

* * *

Phineas was outcold when Isabella and Ferb put him in her bed. They also left him with a big glass of water in case he woke up in the middle of the night. "Poor Phineas..." Isabella said, her voice weak from fear and anxiety. "He looks so peaceful, you wouldn't know that this past week has been nothing but a living hell for him." He stroked his hair lightly as tears began filling up her eyes. "I feel so bad."

"Do not fret, my child. After a few days of rest, he will return to the way he was." Ferb assured her, though she was still feeling skeptical about it.

"You think so, Ferb?" She asked as he nodded gently. "Oh I hope you're right. If anything were to happen to Phineas, I'd feel guilty for the rest of my life." She wiped a tear away. "Ferb, why don't you go home? I'm sure your dad's eager to see you after all of this. Just tell him Phineas is over at my house."

"What about you?"

"It's OK. I'll watch over Phineas. I don't mind. After all, it _is_ my room." The two nodded as Ferb slowly stepped out of the room. He took one last look at Isabella, who was anxiously watching over her best friend, and then left to go back home, where his father, mother, and sister were waiting (the two latters being scolded by the former).

Filled with grief, sadness, and fear of the future, the girl kept a close eye on her friend. "Phineas, please. You have to get better. I know you'll get better."

And so she stayed in that same spot and watched over her friend. She refused to go anywhere, except for the bathroom. I mean, come on. When you gotta go, you gotta go. Other than that, though, she stayed there throughout the afternoon, and even through the entire night. She didn't take her eyes off of him once, and she didn't close them, either. When Phineas was uphappy, she was uphappy.

Several times throughout the night, her mother, Vivian, came up to check on Isabella, and even advised her to go to sleep herself. But she was too commited to Phineas to take her eyes off him. She wanted to make absolute sure that he was going to be OK. Plus, she hated to see the boy that she loved so very much be in pain. "Phineas, I promise, if you get better, I will make sure nobody ever hurts you like your sister or your mom did again! I'll be your personal bodyguard forever!! Just please! Wake up!" She wanted to shout that out so badly. But she knew Phineas was also awake for 6 days straight, and needed as much rest as he could get.

The next morning, at about 7:30, her mother, Vivian, came into the room to check up on her daughter. By now, Isabella was exhausted, but not ready to give up. Something about Phineas just made her drive stronger; her drive to make sure Phineas would be alright. She never knew exactly what it was that got her to fall in love with him in the first place.

"Isa, honey, you've been staring at him all night. It's time for you to take a break." She tried to reason with her daughter, who looked at her, crying. "Isa? Are you OK?"

She sniffled. "No, mom! I'm not OK! My best friend hasn't woken up yet, and I'm worried sick about him!"

"You need to relax, honey. Remember, he was under a lot of stress for the past week."

"I know! But I just...I just care about him alot! He's my best friend in the whole world! Nothing makes me happier than when I'm around him, and I don't want anything to happen to him."

"Isa, these things happen all the time. You don't have any control over them."

"I know, I know!"

What Isabella didn't realize was that while she and her mother were talking, Phineas was slowly beginning to wake up. He fluttered his eyes a bit, trying to get his vision back.

"But...it's just that...I can't explain this, but ever since I met him, I knew that he was going to be the one that I grow up to marry and spend the rest of my life with! I mean, he's just so perfect in every way! He's selfless, kind, loving, and anything he sets his mind to, he achieves, even when it's downright impossible. Plus, he was the first boy that was nice to me when we first moved in here!"

Phineas slowly lifted his head and faced Isabella, not wanting to say anything.

"I know that no matter what happens, we'll always be friends. But sometimes, mom, I wish I could just go up to Phineas--"

"Isa--"

"--and be able to just tell him how I feel about him."

"Isa--"

"I just want to be able to say "Phineas Flynn, I love you! I love you so much that I can't stand it! I want to grow up, marry you, and spend the rest of my life with you!""

"Isa!"

"_What!?_" This whole time, she had not noticed that Phineas was awake and alert, and had just heard every single word Isabella had spoken about her feelings for him. She turned to Phineas and gasped in shock. He simply smiled sheepishly. "Oh no. Uh, h-h-hi Phineas."

"Hi Isabella." He responded sheepishly.

She couldn't believe that he was awake. Now she was sure that she and he would never get together because he would be too scared of her. But Phineas wasn't having the same thoughts. "I'm going to leave you two to chat..." Vivian said quietly as she slowly backed out of the room.

"So...uh, Phineas? H-How much of that...did you hear?"

"I heard enough." He responded immediately. Though she was now nervous like hell about being around him anymore, Phineas was more than comfortable being with her. In fact, just to show it, he immediately reached out and gave her a hug. She was surprised by this, but returned it.

"Wh-What was that for?" She curiously asked him as soon as they pulled apart.

"Well, I-I heard what you said about me. I didn't know you felt so strongly about me."

"I always have, Phineas. But...I was afraid to talk to you about it because I feared that you would be too scared to want to be friends with me anymore. I was afraid that when you heard what I had to say, you would hate me."

"Isabella...I could never hate you. I could never hate you in a million years! I-I kinda thought you hated _me_."

"Hate you!? Why?"

"I screamed at you and called you a jerk!"

"Oh, you're still upset about that..."

"Yes I am, Isabella. I'm sorry. I was out of control. I was just angry at my mom, and at Candace, and at the fact that they hadn't apologized yet, and then--"

The girl instantly stopped the boy from ranting on by reaching out and giving him another big hug, and this time, she even kissed him on the cheek just to show how much she loved him. "It's OK, Phineas. I forgive you. I know you'd never do anything like that on purpose."

"Thanks." The two kept hugging as Phineas's smile started growing again. "Isabella, look...there's something that I have to say."

"Sure, Phineas. What's up?" The two parted.

"OK, here it is. Look, Isabella, now that I know how much you care about me, I have to admit -- I don't think I'm cut out for this romance stuff."

"Wh-What are you talking about?" Her hopes were slowly fading as Phineas kept speaking.

"I couldn't even make romance for Baljeet and Mishti -- h-how am I supposed to do it for you and I? I'll probably screw up and then you'll hate me!"

"Phineas, relax." She stood up, walked over to the other side of the bed, climbed in, and wrapped her arms around his neck, embracing him again. "I'd never be able to hate you no matter what you do. I love you! That's the whole point! So you suck at creating romance. That's OK."

"It is?"

"Sure. I mean, the truth is, all I want to do is be able to spend time with you. And I don't care what we're doing."

"Really?"

She nodded.

Phineas snuggled up to Isabella and closed his eyes gently, just happy to be in her embrace. "You know, I can't wait for those other families to leave."

"Why?"

"Because once they do, everything will go back to normal, and then you and I can go back to being the best of friends."

"I guess so. But, I kind of like those guys."

"Me too. I just want things to go back to normal. I miss the old days where Ferb and I did those cool projects for fun and not for work. Those were the best days."

"Yes. Yes they were."

"And you're sure you don't mind me doing them with Ferb? 'Cause, you know, I kinda thought you'd want me to spend some time with you."

"But I hang around with you everyday, and I love the crazy things you and Ferb can do. So it's OK. Those crazy ideas, plus your sense of pride, optimism, and cute smile, are what made me fall in love with you in the first place. Out of all the boys in this town, I just saw something special in you. And the best part is, you're not rich."

"What?"

"Nothing. It-It was a conversation I had with Peter."

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_Peter and Isabella are sitting on the latter's living room couch, having a talk._

_"So, uh, what's up with you and that triangle across the street?" He asked purely of curiousity, having noticed that she acts rather strangely around Phineas._

_"First of all, his name is Phineas. Second of all, well, it's just...I don't know exactly how to explain this, but he's just got this special charm that makes me want to be around him all the time. He's sweet, he's charming, he's enthusiastic, he's really cute--"_

_"He's a frickin' triangle. What's so special about that?"_

_"Because he can do the impossible! Face it. Anything he sets his mind to, he accomplishes. Any challenge he comes face to face with, he overcomes. He's like Hercules, only without the big muscles, the toga, the smug attitude, you know. That stuff."_

_"Listen, kid, I'm not good at this romance stuff, but...I have a question that I need to ask you."_

_"Sure, Mr. Griffin. Shoot."_

_"Is he loaded?"_

_Isabella raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"_

_"Is he loaded? You know, rich?"_

_"Oh. No, not that I know of."_

_"Oh. Well, see, because most of the time, girls only go for rich guys. Not the poor ones. I mean, that's the problem with the veterans, right?"_

_"That's not true! I like Phineas, but as far as I know, he's middle-class."_

_"Yeah, and you're Jewish. You don't see a problem with that?"_

_"What?"_

_"Nevermind. I'm gonna see what's on TV." He turned to the TV and turned to his favorite station, HGTV. Unfortunately, all he got was a customer alert message from Cablevision. THe message stated that Scripps had decided to pull off its channels from Cablevision due to "financial reasons" and a bunch of other stuff that was mentioned but forgotten by Peter. "Son of a bitch! They're still not showing HGTV or Food Network!"_

_"I know, right? It's a travesty."_

_"I've written 12 angry letters to Scripps network and Cablevision and demanded they put their channels back on! They just don't seem to listen. They're like our government on Health Care."_

_(End Cutaway)_

Speaking of Peter, he was over at Phineas and Ferb's house, trying to check up on the boy. He walked through the front door to notice Linda and Lawrence on the couch, the former looking extremely tired.

"Oh hey Lawrence." Peter said cheerily. Over the past week he had become outstanding friends with Lawrence, and not so much with Linda. He stared down at her, who didn't even care about anything. "And what's up with you? Why do you look so tired?"

"Candace had me up all night." She said miserably. "She forced me to apologize for every single big project Phineas and Ferb had that I didn't believe her about. Literally, she pulled out a list of all their projects and made me say "I'm sorry" for each and every one of them. And there were over 600 of them from the past 5 years!"

"Well that was your own fault for thinking that she was crazy."

"I never thought she was crazy. I just didn't take her seriously. I mean, would you take your daughter seriously if she told you that your two sons built a time machine?"

"My what?"

"Or that they built a beach in the backyard?"

"Look, it's details now, lady. The point is, you didn't take her seriously, which is why she went to such great lengths to prove to you that she's not insane."

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

"But look, it's over now. Alright? It's a week after the fact. Your daughter's getting therapy, your son is recovering from the horrible trauma you put him through, you stuck-up bitch,"

"What?"

"And things are going back to normal. OK? It happens with me and Lois all the time. I do something stupid that causes either bodily or financial harm to our family, I fix it, and things go back to normal. That, and Cleveland's house gets destroyed. Anyway, you see my point?"

"Yes. Yes I do. But still..."

"Look, don't worry about it. Everything's gonna turn out OK. Like that time I crashed the Stock Market."

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_Peter is standing out in the middle of the desert with the owner of a plane that Peter crashed which was sitting right behind him._

_"Aw, come on! Do we have to get the cops involved?" Peter begged the owner not to call the police._

_"Yeah! You crashed the Stock Market! Do you know what that means?"_

_Peter looked at the owner, and then back at the plane for a moment. He pondered before giving a response. "I...just save you a bunch of money on your car insurance by switching to Geico?"_

_The owner shook his head and cocked his shotgun. "No. And by the way, All-State is way better." He aimed his gun at Peter's head and prepared to shoot him._

_"Wait a minute! Wait a damn minute!" Peter shouted, causing the other guy to slowly lower his gun, but still keep it close. "You're saying that All-State is better than Geico!?"_

_"Why yes. Yes I am."_

_"Oh that is bullsh*t!"_

_"Excuse me?"_

_"Geice is the best there is! You know their old saying "So easy a Caveman could do it"? Yeah, that's so catchy even a caveman could understand it."_

_"Cavemen are retarded! That's why they're extinct! All-State is the way to go!"_

_"Oh a stupid farmer such as yourself would say that! Geico!"_

_"All-State!"_

_"Geico!"_

_"All-State!"_

_"All-State!"_

_"All-State!"_

_"Dammit! I thought that would work!"_

_(End Cutaway)_

**End of Chapter 7!**

**I know this chapter is a little bit shorter. Not much going on. Sorry. But I promise next chapter will be better.**

**Next Time: The story wraps up with a bang! Literally!**

**Expected Update: Check anytime after January 25th**


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